The Odds are Never in Our Favour
by MockingjaysAndDandelions
Summary: Modern day set in Panem. Six year old Peeta and Katniss meet in school and become friends until something terrible happens Peeta which leads to mystery, loss, heartbreak and trying to forget the nightmare of reality. Peeta and Katniss POV's
1. Chapter 1

I grip tighter on my father's hand as the school comes into view. He takes me to a door on the far right of the building and we walk up the steps. Before he opens the door he bends down to my level.

"Have a great day son" he says as he ruffles my hair. "Now go inside and wait for your teacher to come." He leaves me scanning the room for somewhere to sit. Then I see her. The prettiest girl I have ever laid eyes on. She has her dark hair tied in two braids and she wears a red dress. I am determined to be friends. I walk past all my other friends and sit beside the pretty girl who was sitting all alone.

"I'm Peeta Mellark and I think you are the prettiest girl in the entire world" I say, proud of my introduction. "What's your name?"

"I'm Katniss Everdeen" she replies, looking bashfully at her feet.

"Do you want to be friends?"

"Okay" she finally lifts her gaze and smiles, and I know no matter what I will always try to make Katniss Everdeen smile because it's the prettiest smile in the entire world.

Our teacher walks in. She has ridiculous pink hair and high heels. She clears her throat.

" Hello class, my name is Ms. Trinket " She beams down at us but it feels fake. Everything about her looks fake. "Now we're going to start by learning a song, does anyone know the Valley Song" Nobody raises there hand apart from Katniss. "Yes, you." says as she points at Katniss. "You can sing it for us, if you don't mind."

"Okay" she replys confidently. I'm curious to hear what her voice sounds. She clears her throat and begins.

Down in the valley, the valley so low

Hang your head over, hear the wind blow

Hear the wind blow, dear, hear the wind blow;

Hang your head over, hear the wind blow.

Roses love sunshine, violets love dew,

Angels in Heaven know I love you,

Know I love you, dear, know I love you,

Angels in Heaven know I love you.

Build me a castle, forty feet high;

So I can see her as she rides by,

As she rides by, dear, as she rides by,

So I can see her as she rides by.

Roses love sunshine, violets love dew,

Angels in Heaven know I love you,

Know I love you, dear, know I love you,

Angels in Heaven know I love you.

Her voice is like honey, so sweet and pure. Everyone had stopped what they were doing to listen to Katniss's beautiful voice. Even the birds out side. Everyone suddenly bursts into applause. A blush creeps onto her cheek, and she sits down.

Ms. Trinket begins on the alphabet, but I don't listen. I just think about Katniss, and every so often we would look at each other and smile, and every time my heart would skip a beat. There and then I knew that whatever happened, me and Katniss would be friends. I'd make sure of that.

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A couple of months had past since that first day. And I was delighted to find out that Katniss lived three houses down from mine so every day we would walk to school together hand in hand. Every day I became more fascinated by Katniss and every day she got more and more beautiful.

"Peeta Mellark," she says pulling me out of my trance " Do you know the answer?"

I have no idea what she was talking about today, I was too busy thinking of Katniss.

"Um...it's...it's" I stutter. Everyone in the class has now turned around to look at me. I glance at Katniss and she mouths '4' "Four!" I exclaim.

"Correct" she says suspiciously.

There is a knock on the door.

"Come in" she drones, obviously fed up with this boring day

The principal walks in, Ms. Paylor. She has graying ,short blonde hair and she has small wrinkles forming at the corners of her hazel eyes.

"Could Peeta Mellark please come outside with me." she says. Oh no, I think, I must be in big trouble.

I walk stiffly towards the door not making eye contact. We walk outside the door and she shuts it firmly and sighs deeply closing her eyes. Is that a tear? I must have done something really bad.

" Peeta," she begins " I hate to be the bearer of bad news but..." she sighs again and opens her eyes and they're full of sympathy. " Your father has just died in a car accident"

I feel all the breath being sucked out of my lungs. It's like I'm winded. Unable to breath, desperately gasping for air.

I hear the gentle pounding of my heart quickening. I hear faint screams surrounding me and I realising that they are coming from my own mouth.

I feel kind arms trying to console me but I am thrashing around desperately trying to reach my father. He can't be dead, they are lying. He can't leave me. He can't.

I can hear. I can feel but I can't see. Tears blur my vision. Thoughts blank my mind and I feel like I'm in a black hole. Trying to claw my way out but the darkness is pulling me in. I have to reach my father. I scream father over and over until the darkness engulfs me.


	2. Chapter 2

I am stirred awake by the sound of footsteps. It takes a second for the memories to flood back. I curl up in a ball and hide underneath the duvet. What can I do to make it all go away? What can I do to see him in again? I feel like screaming but my throat is too raw. I feel like crying but I don't have any tears left.

I hear a knock on my window. I reluctently emerge from my lair.

It's Katniss. It looks like she's been crying. I open the window and she climbs in before I can question what she's doing here she throws herself into my arms.

For a minute I forget the pain. I just live in the now. Feel the warmth of me and Katniss huddled together. But only a minute. I feel guilty for feeling this content and I find myself crying onto her shoulder. Katniss clings onto me tighter. We stay like this for hours. Her head resting on my chest, arms wrapped around my neck. My head tucked into her shoulder and my arms around her middle. We fit perfectly together. Like puzzle pieces. There are no words that are needed to be said. We are just here. Together.

I hear footsteps again. Coming closer this time. It's my mother. The witch.

"Go" I whisper urgently. Knowing what she will do to Katniss if she finds her in my room. "Quickly" I say nudging her to the window.

She jumps out the window the second mother storms in. She looks unaltered by the death. Even satisfied. I push away the thought as I feel sick at the notion.

"Come down to the kitchen," she says looking me up and down like I'm a stain she can't remove "We have to discuss the will"

I go to the kitchen obediently even though all I wanted to do was go back to my lair underneath the duvet. A man is sitting at the table with my mother. They are crouched over a document.

" Hello Peeta" the man says looking up from the paperwork. He has dirty blonde hair and smells funny. I scrunch up my nose "My name is Haymitch. I'm helping your mother go through your fathers will. Come sit here" He nods his head to the chair infront of him.

" Now Peeta" he continues when I had sat myself down " You know what a will is" I nod. My throat is still too raw to speak. " Well, your father left all his money to your mother and he left the bakery to your brothers, Thom and Rye." he clears his throat before he continues " Your father left you this key" he says. He opens his briefcase and takes out a huge key. The sun catches it and it shimmers magically. " The thing is Peeta," Haymitch says. He frowns as he sets it down "nobody knows what it unlocks. We think it's just a precious token but we can't be too sure." He sighs and hands it to me "It's yours now"

The key is surprisingly light for its weight. I decide to treasure this key, it represents my father. I clutch it to my chest and a single tear rolls down my cheek.

"Thank you" I croak.

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I found a white string and I looped it through the hole in my key. I hung it round my neck and I vow to always have it. Never take it off.

Today is the funeral.

We stand in the graveyard and I stare blankly at the coffin as its lowered in the ground. As if on cue, rain begins to pour from the dark sky as the coffin hits the ground. Everyone makes their way inside the church when the first strike of lightning illuminates the sky. I stay staring down at my father. I can't tell if I'm crying or not because my face is already wet.

I remember his smile that I will never see again. His laugh I will never hear. His warm embrace I will never feel again.

I lose my trail of thought as someone slips their hand into mine. I look up to find Katniss's beautiful gray eyes stare at me.

"Let's go" she mutters. She guides me towards the church but that's the last place I want to go.

"No" Is all I can say. She seems to understand and brings me in the opposite direction. Towards the forest.

A canopy of leaves guard us from the rain cascading from the sky. We sit on the ground our backs against a tree.

I look over at her and I see that she's shivering. She doesn't have a jacket. I take mine off and wrap it around her small shoulders. She smiles and I get a fluttery feeling in my stomach and I find that I'm smiling back.

I realise that father wouldn't want me to mourn over his death. He wouldn't want me to stop being happy. So I promise, not to myself but to the memory of my father that I will carry on no matter what. I will push through the darkness. I will not be sucked into the whirlpool of despair. I will be happy. I will be me. I look to Katniss and grin. My biggest grin. Her whole face lights up and she leans in and pecks me on the cheek. I don't know if it's possible but I think I smiled ten times bigger then my last one.


	3. Chapter 3

I stroke Prim's soft hair. She lies asleep in her cot, snuggled up to her teddy. I turn around as I hear my father coming own the stairs.

"Morning honey" he yawns. I skip over to him and give him a quick hug.

"Morning" I reply. I sit down next to Prim again and begin to stroke her hair. Until I here a scream. His scream.

I rush out the door. Sprinting towards the sound. I have to find him.

I turn around the corner and I see him , Peeta . Face in his hands. Shaking. What happened? Why did he scream like that?

I sit beside him and gently touch his arm. He looks up at me. One side of his face is bright red. I gasp. Now I understand. I feel tears forming in my eyes.

"Who did this to you?" I whisper. He just shakes his head and puts his face in his hands again.

Peeta does not deserve this. Nobody deserves this, I think, suddenly angry.

I do the only thing I can think of. I sit infront of him crossed legged like him, and I lean my forehead against his. Wrap my arms around his shoulders and whisper "I love you" over and over again until his tears have dried and he has gathered the strength to wrap his arms around me as well. We sit there in silence until he says something. His voice hoarse.

"Why do you always help me?" I look up at his confused face.

"Because you're my best friend and I love you" I reply without hesitation. He nods but even doing that small action he winces in pain. "Who did this to you" I repeat now that the tears had stopped.

"Mother" he whispers I can barely catch the words. "…take my key …refused … rolling pin." He says this so low that I only catch a few words. He sticks his hand underneath his shirt and pulls out a key. It's silver and it sparkles in the morning light. "It's the only thing that I have of my father, I couldn't let her take it away" he tucks it back into his shirt.

"I'll get mother to help your wound" I say helping him up. As I notice it's beginning to bleed.

"Please don't tell her how I got it, or else they'll take me away" I don't understand what he means be 'they' but I agree.

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A few months past, but Peeta still has a massive bruise on the side of his face. I don't know how he keeps smiling and being so jolly.

Every day we would go to the Meadow and look up at the sky looking for creatures in the clouds. I always find myself smiling whenever I am with him and whenever he laughs I get a strange bubbly feeling in my stomach. I don't know what it is or what it means.

I remember the day at the funeral when I knew I couldn't do anything to make him feel better. I had to watch helplessly as the misery took over him, but when I saw him smile I felt so overjoyed. I saw the mist leave his blue eyes and they returned clear and beautiful again, so I leant over and kissed him on the cheek. His face lit up like the sun and I have never felt more happy at that moment, knowing that I might have helped him through the darkness just a little bit. I hate seeing him in pain, and I knew no matter what I would always try to make Peeta smile because it was the prettiest smile in the entire world.

"Look" I exclaim as I point to the sky " It's a dolphin!"

"And there's a monkey"

"Where?" I ask because I can't see it after scanning the azure blue sky.

"Beside you!" Peeta chuckles as he begins tickling me. I flail my arms and legs about breathless from laughter.

"Peeta! Stop!" I shriek. I begin tickling him as well and I jump on top of him pinning him to the ground. "Ha" I say triumphantly and I smirk at him squirming. I admire his tousled blonde hair and his amazingly clear, blue eyes while I'm distracted he rolls me over and pins me to the ground.

"Ha" he says and smirks. We start laughing and lay down in the grass. Peeta sits up and I lay my head in his lap. He begins to play with my hair absent mindedly. He sighs and says wistfully "I want to freeze this moment right here, right now and live in it forever." I'm surprise that someone so small and young could come up with that. Peeta has always been good with words and all I can say is,

"Okay"

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That night I lay in bed smiling, thinking back over that perfect day. I think about how pretty his eyes are, so blue and clear. Eventually I fall asleep thinking about my best friend, Peeta Mellark.

I jerk awake by the sound of his scream. "Peeta" I whisper. I leap out of bed. Getting ready to strangle the horrible witch. I sprint towards his house. He is in the same spot he was last time, with a big, red welt over his arm. "Peeta" I whimper. I do what I did last time. Foreheads touching. Whispering 'I love you'. Not letting go. After a while a say "I'm not letting you go back in there tonight." He looks up at me. "Come on" I help him up gently, and half guide half lift him to my house. We creep in the door and into my bedroom. We crawl into my bed and I let my head rest on his chest and his arms go around me.

"You must think I'm so weak and pathetic" he mutters. I can't believe he is saying that. He can't help that his father died, leaving him with a wicked old witch that beats him.

"No Peeta. I think you are the bravest person I know. You never let her bring you down. You always keep your head up. Never think that, okay?" he nods and snuggles down into my bed.

"Thank you, Katniss" he whispers as sleep brings him under. I let his steady heartbeat coax me into a deep slumber.


	4. Chapter 4

I open my eyes and I see Peeta mouth open, breathing heavily. I smile and snuggle in deeper to his embrace. I feel so safe in his arms. He shifts in his sleep so his arm is lying on my face.

"Peeta" I say, my voice muffled. "Get off" He jerks awake and quickly removes his arm.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" he exclaims. I start laughing and he joins me.

"It's ok" I yawn. I lay my head back on his chest. After a pause I say "I hate her"

"Me too, I wish we could just run away"

"One day we will run off to the forest and we will fight trolls and dragons. Then we will get the big giants to throw the wicked witch into a dungeon . We will build a big, big castle and get married and live happily ever after" I say " I promise."

I always keep my promises.

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When Peeta leaves through the window. I go down to the kitchen to see my mother cradling Prim in her arms.

"Morning" she sighs, obviously tired. I sit beside her and play with the end of my braid.

"Mother," I begin "What is it like to be in love?" she smiles and looks lovingly at me.

"Well, you are happy whenever you're with them and when you're together nothing matters because you are with eachother. The thought of being apart is unbearable and you don't care what the world thinks because they are your world"

Mum smiles down at me. And I wonder if I do actually love Peeta. I did say that I love him… I lose my trail of thought when I hear him scream again. Except this time it's not just one short , bloodcurdling scream. He is screaming "KATNISS" .

Before I know it I'm half way down the road.

"PEETA" I shriek. I turn the corner, ready to see him in our spot outside the window, more hurt then usual, but he's not there. Where is he?

"KATNISS" I twist around to his voice to see that he's being dragged into a car by a man.

"Peeta" I gasp and rush to the car. "What are you doing?" I cry to the man.

"It's for his own good, we can't leave him with a mother like that" the man gets into the driver seat and revs the engine. I press my face up to the window where Peeta is. He puts his hands up against the smooth glass an I do the same. I pretend that we are actually touching and I shut my eyes. Hoping this is all just a bad dream.

"Open the door" I shout through the glass helplessly. I desperately bang against the window. The car begins to move and I see Peeta banging against the window as well, screaming at the driver. The driver rolls his eyes and reluctantly stops the car. Peeta jumps out of it into my arms. We sit on the dirty ground desperately clinging onto each other. I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat getting quicker by the second. He rests his head onto my shoulder.

"Where are they taking you?" I sniff.

"To foster care, like an orphanage"

"Will I be able to see you again"

"I..I don't know" I cling him tighter and think about what my mother said: The thought of being apart is unbearable. I definitely love Peeta because when I think about being apart it feels like a chunk of my heart is being ripped out.

"Come on," I say trying to hold back the tears. "Lets go to the forest. We can run away" He begins to stand up and we are poised to run but the evil man takes him by the collar.

"Time to go, little man" I don't have the chance to say goodbye. I don't have the chance to give him one last hug. I don't have the chance to give the person I love the most in this world one last kiss on the cheek. The car speeds away leaving a cloud of dust behind it.

I run faster then I have ever run before after the gray automobile. I see Peeta pressed up against the back window. 'I love you' he mouths to me. 'I love you too' and with that the car speeds around the corner out of sight. Bringing Peeta to unknown places. I drop to the ground in the middle of the road and rock back and forth. Clutching my knees. I sob uncontrollable. I whimper 'Peeta' over and over again, hoping that he will come back to me. I sob until I feel arms pick me up and carry me. It's my father. I cry into his chest. I let the soothing sway of his arms lull me to sleep.

I'm in the meadow. Black clouds encircle me.. 'BANG' lightning strikes a tree to my left and it catches on fire. I hear a scream. Peeta's scream. No matter where I run I can't find him. He screams 'Katniss' over and over again. Evil creatures from the clouds descend upon me. Eagles, sharks, ghosts and witches. There is nowhere to hide.

My screams awake me. I'm in my own bed. My pillow is wet from tears.

"Shh, shh" my father soothes as he strokes my hair.

"He's gone" I whisper. I feel hollow. I know in my heart I will never see him again and it physically hurts.

"I know, honey" he says " He is in a better place now. His mother can't hurt him anymore" I nod. I am being selfish. I couldn't keep him here. How foolish I was, actually believing that I could help him. "He is safe now"

He might as well be dead to me. As if I will see him again. It is pointless to miss him. Why should I hurt over him? Why should I waste my time being unhappy? I will make other friends and I will fall in love again. I will forget Peeta Mellark. My beautiful, blue eyed friend.

12 YEARS LATER.

I wake up screaming from another nightmare. This time I see my father die in the coal mines. I can't reach him. I can't save him. Was it only a week ago when we went to the lake and swam together? I feel hollow. The feeling feels familiar but I don't know why.

I reluctantly climb out of bed. I have to get ready for school. I can't miss any more days ,this is my last year. I pull on my uniform. A blue shirt, red tie and black skirt. I tie my hair in my signature braid and walk out the door.

The crisp morning air is cool and refreshing. The sky is clouded over with thick, dark clouds waiting for the right moment to release it's raindrops.

"Hey Catnip!" I turn around to see Gale walking towards me. "Top o' the mornin' to ya!" I feel my lips turn up in a small smile. Gale is the only one who can make my smile in a time like this, and maybe Prim.

"Morning Gale" I drone. I start walking towards school and he comes up beside me. Even though he has finished school he still keeps up the tradition of walking me there everyday.

Gale has been acting strange lately. He keeps looking at me funny and I catch him glancing at me from the corner of his eye. I don't get it.

We walk past the supermarket, Gale is suddenly looking really uncomfortable. He does that as well more then usual. I'm sick of it.

I stop and turn to him.

"Gale, what the hell is up with you lately?" I demand, getting irritated.

"Nothing," he grumbles "I'm just feeling sick"

"Yeah, sure," I say sarcastically "Don't lie with me Gale, I can so- "

He cuts me off by pressing his lip to mine. He smells like oranges. His hand brushes against my cheek. What the hell? I think as I pull back.

"Gale… what?" I ask extremely confused. He is my best friend. When did he decide he wanted to kiss me?

"Listen Katniss," he says nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. " I.. I love you."

What?

"You what?"

"I had to tell you"

"So you decide to tell me straight after my father's death?" I say suddenly getting quite angry. "I can't deal with feelings right now Gale. I..I just can't." I turn around and walk towards school.

Love? I can't remember when I started resenting that kind of affection. I don't want to get hurt. I can't remember the reason but it's just the way I am. Gale knows that.

When I arrive at the school gate, I'm greeted with a very excited Madge.

"Katniss!" she says "I've been waiting for you for ages"

"Sorry, I got ... um … delayed"

"Are you feeling better?" she asks politely as we walk towards the lockers. I told her I was feeling sick for the past week. I didn't want to hear the usual 'I'm so sorry' ,'Are you alright'. I didn't want anybody's sympathy.

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"Good, listen I have great news" she squeals. "I got into The University of Panem"

That is good news. I got into the university a couple weeks ago. I had to admit I was terrified for going alone.

"That's great Madge" I reply. Trying to put enthusiasm into my voice.

The bell rings for class. I grab my English books, dreading it. This is the only class I have with Glimmer. She is your typical popular girl, and she has had it in for me from the very first day. I have no idea why.

I sit in my usual spot by the window. The seat furthest away from Glimmer who usually sits at the other side of the class. When she walks in she walks towards me.

Wait, what? I think. Why is she coming over here?

She sits in the seat next to me. She reeks of perfume. She flings her long blonde hair over her shoulder before she speaks.

"Don't get any ideas, this is not a heart to heart session," she begins looking me up and down like I'm a piece of dirt. "I saw you making out with your hottie friend"

Damn you Gale. Now I'm going to be the talk of the school. People looking at me and whispering and giggling.

"Now the thing is," she continues "I'm not going to tell anyone because I know how you hate being the center of attention, on one condition" She lifts her perfectly manicured index finger. " You have to put in a good word for Gale about moi." She smirks as she points to herself.

Now I understand. She has hated me because she likes Gale.

"Sure" I reply. I don't want to risk being the gossip of the school.

She plasters a fake smile on her face and trots off. The only problem is now I actually have to talk to Gale. I groan inwardly imagining the awkwardness of the inevitable conversation.

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The breeze ruffles my hair as I walk to Gale's house. If it were up to me I would ignore Gale until he apologises. I take a deep breath and knock on the door.

He opens the door and I see the shock register on his face.

"Hi" I say timidly "We need to talk."

We walk to the woods in silence and we sit on our rock over looking a lushious, green valley. I sigh and begin my speech that I went over again and again in my head.

" Gale, I do love you" I begin. I see his face light up then sink again with disappointment when I continue. It breaks my heart "But as a friend, I'm sorry" I drop my gaze unable to stare into Gale's gray eyes, full of longing. " The thing is, Glimmer, she saw us kiss and she threatens to tell the whole school about us. It will be the gossip of the year and…" I sigh before I continue knowing it will be near impossible to convince Gale to do what I'm about to ask. " She will tell the whole school if I don't put in a good word for her. She likes you Gale" There is silence. An awkward pause. There is never an awkward pause with me and Gale.

"Okay" he walks off and disappears through the leaves. I find silent tears rolling down my cheek and I don't bother to wipe them. I have lost my best friend and again the feeling feels familiar.


	5. Chapter 5

I look at Katniss desperately running after me. Her long, dark hair is flowing behind her. She has a look of determination on her face.

I wish I could smash the window open and run to the forest. I somehow know that I won't escape this fate so I mouth 'I love you'. 'I love you too.' She mouths back.

The car turns a corner. I will never see my beautiful Katniss again. I slump down in my seat and start crying.

"Listen, kiddo" the strange man says "I know this must be real hard for you but can you shut up. You're giving me a headache"

I try to stop crying but it's impossible. I try to not let myself fall into that whirlpool of darkness again but with every tear it gets more difficult. There is no one there to encourage me to keep on going. That's what Katniss did. Every time I felt afraid I thought of my beautiful Katniss and how I would just have to wait a little longer to be with her. That no matter what , she would be there to comfort me. She kept me smiling.

I hate my wicked mother. Whenever I close my eyes I see her face. Her cruel snarl and cold blue eyes seething with hatred. I can hear her insults inside my head. Whatever I do I can't shake them out. And worst of all I feel the pain of the multiple strikes burning against my skin. She has won. Somehow leaving hurts more then her beatings because she has won. I never let her make me feel afraid. I never gave her the satisfation. But she haunts my every thought. Creeps into my every nightmare and there is nothing I can do to stop her. I am now forever a pawn in her miserable game that I am always losing.

We pull into a narrow driveway. Ahead of us there is a huge, gray building. It reminds me of a school expect more terrifying. The man parks the car and we get out.

"Follow the silence." is all the strange man says as he pushes me towards a huge door.

Follow the silence? What does that mean?

I push the door open to find an empty hallway. There is nobody there. I see a bright sign stuck to the wall to my left.

'Welcome to Hilltown home! We are your family now.'

On the sign 'Hill" is scribbled out and someone wrote in 'Hell'. My footsteps echo in the hallway. There are two passageways. One to my right and the other to my left.

On the right passageway I hear laughter and singing. And on the left I hear nothing. Silence.

"Follow the silence" I whisper to myself.

Everything is grey and dull. The further I go down the passageway the colder and darker it gets. I start shaking. From the cold or fear I'm not sure. When I reach the end of the hallway there is a door. I stare blankly at it.

"Come in Mr. Mellark." A booming voice says from inside the door. I feel like running away but there is no where to run. The door creaks eerily when I open it. Inside is an office with one man sitting in a chair. He has white hair and a white beard. He looks snake like. His eyes are like slits and I know somehow he is going to slither his way into my life.

"Hello" he hisses. "Welcome to Hilltown" I stay silent. "Not very talkative I see" I shuffle my feet nervously. "I'm not terribly surprised after what you've been through, your mother's beatings, your father's tragic death, leaving poor Ms. Everdeen." He rattles off the list of my misfortunes. How does he know so much about me? "Oh," he continues "Let us not forget that little mystery of your fathers key" I finally meet his gaze. He is smiling but it looks more like a snarl. I automatically touch the key from inside my shirt. Protecting it. "Oh dear don't worry, I'm not taking that key just yet."

Just yet. There is no yet. I am never letting the snake get a hold of my precious key.

"I havn't introduced myself" the snake says as he outstreches his hand. " I'm the president of this household, President Snow." I don't shake his hand because I'm too scared to even breath. "You are room 74. Go up the stairs to the left."

I leave the office and try to conceal my sobs. Breath in and out, I tell myself. I walk up the staircase. Everything is still completely silent. Where is everyone? I scan the corridor. Looking for room 74. I stop and see a little girl about my age sitting on the steps. She has short black hair and big hazel eyes. Quite pretty but nothing compared to Katniss.

"What are you looking at brainless" the girl sneers, looking me up and down.

"Uh, nothing" I reply. I find the room and walk towards it quickly trying to get away from the girl.

"I'm Johanna." She says.

"I'm Peeta." and with that we part ways into different rooms. I have a feeling Johanna is going to be the closest thing to a friend I will have in this place.

There is a single bed in the corner of my room and a small wardrobe. And a tiny window is in the middle of my wall. Grim sunlight shines through. I notice it's the only light I have in here. I sit on my bed and put my face in my hands. So many questions run through my mind. How does President Snow know so much about me? Why does he want my key?

I let my mind go back to Katniss. I know I will never love anybody like I loved her. I know I will never find a friend like her but I know that I will never see her again. I lie down on my dusty bed. I have enough pain in my life, why would I suffer and dream of being with Katniss. I take a deep breath and vow to forget Katniss. My beautiful gray eyed friend.

12 YEARS LATER

I wake up to a bang on my door. My hair is wet from the sweat of my nightmare. Will I ever have a peaceful night? Will I ever have a night where the witch doesn't glare down at me, menacingly, ready to strike?

"Wake up brainless" Johanna shouts. I groan and slip out of bed. I pull on a blue top and walk out the door. I see "my brothers and sisters" stare at Johanna in shock. No one ever shouts here, or barely speaks really. They are too afraid of out tutor, Ms. Coin. Her motto is silence is golden. She takes it seriously, nobody dares to make a sound. All we do is tiptoe around the grounds and whisper in eachothers ear. The only way to wake me up is Johanna's banging and shouts. We are not allowed into other childrens rooms so that's the only way to do it. I have gotton used to the silence. Sometimes I find it even calming but when I remember the snake is in the same building and breathing the same air I feel my skin crawl.

Ever since the first day I have been avoiding President Snow but I always find him lurking in the corners eyeing the key that I keep around my neck. For the past twelve years I have kept my key hanging safely around my neck and for the past twelve years President Snow has been watching it, greedily. Waiting for the right moment to pounce. I don't know what is so important about it and why my father had it in the first place if Snow wants it so bad.

"Porridge for breakfast today." Johanna moans. I join her grumbling. The porridge here looks and tastes like vomit.

"Great." I say sarcastically. We walk through the huge doors that lead into gray cafeteria and sit ourselves down on the table at the very back of the room. For an hour until the grating sound of the bell rings, signaling class, we play with our food. I sigh at the beginning of my monotonous day. Eat, school, work, eat, sleep. We do this all in silence until the night time when the corridors are full with children screaming, willing their nightmares to go away. I wish I wasn't such a heavy sleeper. Maybe the shrieks would wake me and let me escape from my cruel mother's wrath.

We tiptoe into class and slump down in our uncomfortable chairs with caution. This is where teaches.

Coin saunters in, stomping her feet. She coughs loudly. With every move she always does it trying to make the most noise as possible. She does it to provoke us.

"Class, we-" she is cut off but the crackling of the speakers. The morning announcement by Snow. Coin rests her head on her hand and sighs. She doesn't even try to hide her envy, everybody knows she has wanted the Presidents job for years on end.

"Morning family," he begins. "Today I have a very special announcement. As you know this year is coming to an end. Every year we lose some precious family members who have come of age."

Me and Johanna share a look and grin. This is our final year at Hilltown (or Helltown) and we are counting down the days until we finally leave this prison. 23 days. After the summer I'm going to the University of Panem. To be honest I would have gone anywhere. Anywhere but here.

"We will miss our brothers and sisters dearly, so we have come up with a stupendous idea. Every year we will hold an annual meeting, where everyone will have to attend. No acceptions. We know where you will be next year so there is no point hiding" He laughs as if it were a joke but everyone knows that it was the truth. The speakers switch of and we register what the snake had just demanded. Every year we willl have to return. No acceptions. No escape. Snow wouldn't do this unless he had a good reason. I can't shake the feeling that it has something to do with my key.

"Class," Coin begins " We will start on a new topic in maths today." She pull down the board and begins to scratch up letters.

Chance.

"We will be taking a fun approach to this lesson." She says this everyday and everyday it is in the least bit fun.

"We are going to be talking about how the odds relate to you, I will begin with myself." She clears her throat "Now, the odds were definitely in my favour today because the sun is shining." She puts on a fake smile as she gestures her hands to the small window. "I want you to write in your notebooks about your odds this morning."

'The odds are never in my favour' I scrawl.

00000000000000000

We walk outside to begin our work. This is how we earn money. Everyday day we do work assigned to our abilities and get paid a measly amount. I need the money so I just go along with it. My job is to move bags of heavy things around the building. I don't know what the purpose is. At least it gives me exercise, I tell myself.

I sit on the ground to catch my breath when the speakers crackle again.

"Can Peeta Mellark please report to the office, thank you." The speaker switches off and the grounds are silent. All I can hear is my heartbeat. No one has ever been called to the office during working hours. Or ever.

I walk towards the office. Every step feels like a lifetime.

The door creaks open at my arrival.

"Hello Mr. Mellark. Have a seat" he gestures towards a seat but I refuse.

"I'm perfectly fine standing up, thank you." I try to sound unfazed by all of this but my voice give way on the last word.

"Very well." He says as he sits down. "I believe we have some things to discuss. Invloving a certain key." He stares down at the bulge in my t-shirt where the key lies.

"What is so important about this key?" I spit.

"Temper, temper." He tutts, wagging his finger.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my growing annoyance.

"What do you want from me?"

"I think you already know, Mr. Mellark."

"Why do you want it?"

"All in good time, all in good time." He smirks, I can tell he won't be telling me it's importance "in good time".

"Just hand it over if you know whats good for you" He says, his voice growing stern. I just simply shake my head. I'm not letting his filthy hands on my fathers key.

"What a shame, you are just like your father. Maybe you will have to be exterminated too"

Exterminated like my father? Suddenly it all matches up. The snake wanted the key so badly he had to kill my father. My sweet, innocent father. I stop myself from leaping on him and ripping his throat.

"YOU KILLED MY FATHER?" I scream, grabbing the chair to stop myself from falling. I feel myself being sucked into the whirlpool again and the tears well up in my eyes.

No. I will be strong.

"I'm afraid I had no choice." He looks down at his fingernails nonchantlantly, as if he I having a normal conversation not telling someone that you killed their father. "He was so stubborn. And cold-hearted."

"My father was an honourable" I growl.

"Oh really? Well, whould he be so honourable knowing what this key does and what the circumstances are by having it in your possesion and giving it to his own son." He smirks.

If my father risked his own life not to let this key fall into the slippery hands of the snake then I will do everything in my power to follow in his footsteps.

"I will give you one last chance to hand it over" I stay silent and he sighs. "Very well, I will see you next year Mr. Mellark."


	6. Chapter 6

It's finally the weekend. My first week in university had gone great. Me and Madge sticked together like glue. I met a couple of other people but none were as nice as Madge, maybe Delly but she was a bit too hyper for my liking.

My phone buzzes on the kitchen table. I walk over and read the text. It's from Annie.

Hey Katniss! Me and Finnick are about an hour away.

Xxx

Ok, great! See you soon. K x

I press send and smile. It's been so long since I last saw Finnick and Annie. I laugh remembering the amount of excited phone calls from Annie after her and Finnick had got together.

I hear Prim groan as she stomps down the stairs. She has never been a morning person.

"Good morining, little duck"

"Stop calling me that Katniss." She grumbles as she sits on the sofa. "I'm not five I'm fourteen"

"I know, I know. Sorry" I say as I sit beside her. "So, I see that you and Rory have been hanging out a lot lately." She goes bright red and glares at me.

"Katniss, shut up" I laugh and leave her sulking on the couch.

I hear a knock on the door. They must be early, I think. I open the door to see Gale. We haven't talked since our encounter in the woods.

"Um.. hi. I..erm.." He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. " I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and I just want to be friends again." He says it so fast I barely catch the words.

"Yeah me too" To be honest he could have said anything. I just wanted to have my best friend back. I wonder what happened with Glimmer, she didn't spread the news so I guess things went well. It's too soon to ask him, it's a touchy subject.

"Listen, I better be off. But talk soon?" he asks.

"Definitely" I say without hesitation.

Just as he leaves a car pulls up in the driveway. Annie jumps out of the car and run towards me.

"Katniss" she squeals as she gives me a hug. Finnick saunters up and hugs me as well.

"Hello Kitty Kat." Finnick says. I playfully hit him on the shoulder. I've missed them.

I show them their room and we talk non-stop. I can't help notice that they haven't let go of eachothers hands, once.

"Katniss, we heard that there's a party on tonight, can we please go?" Annie asks doing puppy dog eyes. That's the last thing I want to do but they're the guests.

"Fine." I sigh.

00000000000000000

I sip my drink and look out to the party. To my right is the bar with a bunch of drunken teenagers and to my left is a dance floor. I don't recognise the song. Nothing new there. I don't really keep up to date on that sort of thing I'm too busy studying and looking after Prim.

I look to Finnick and Annie. They havn't been doing much apart from gazing into eachothers eyes lovingly.

How much longer do we have to stay here? I groan inwardly.

"KATNISS" I turn around to see Delly Cartwright plummeting towards me. Even from here I can tell she has had one too many drinks, or three. She traps my in a big hug.

"Katniss, I haven't seen you in ages!" she exclaims. I saw her last week.

"So how are you?" I ask politely.

"I'm magnificent" she reply enthusiastically. "And you?"

"Fine, so who have you come with?"

"Well," I brace myself for the long list. Delly has always been popular. "Clove, Thresh, Marvel." Her voice is so slurred I can barely catch the names. "Madge and … erm … oh yeah! Peter." Peter? I knew everyone else but I have no idea who Peter is. Probably a boyfriend from another District.

"C'mon, lets sit down." She skips towards the bar. I look over my shoulder at Finnick and Annie. They won't miss me.

We sit down and chattter away.

"Oh my gosh Katniss, I really need to pee." She whimpers " I don't know where the bathroom is."

" Come on then." We try to find the bathroom when she runs off infront of me into man's arms. I can't see who it is because Delly's smothering him.

"I haven't seen you in ages" Delly whines. The man chuckles and I get a fluttery feeling in my stomach. I must have had a bit to much alchohal as well. When Delly lets go of the man she flings her arms around both of our shoulders.

"You guys know eachother, right?" Delly asks. I look over at him.

The man has unruly blonde hair hanging right above his perfect jawline. His blue t-shirt is slightly too tight and shows of his toned muscles. His lips are curled up in a small smile. And his eyes. I stifle a gasp at how blue and clear they are. If I look deep enough into the blue orbs I can see sadness. Everything about him shouts happy and content apart from those eyes. He is breathtaking. This is Peter, I think, remembering the list of Delly's friends. He is the one I didn't know. But I can't help thinking that I recognise those blue eyes…

I am brought out of my trance by Delly clapping her hands infront of our faces.

I was staring at this guy for God knows how long, he must think I'm a phyco. At least he was doing it too, I think, slightly consoled. But that doesn't help my flaming cheeks.

"You guys were staring at eachother for like 2 minutes" Delly chuckles.

Delly leans against the wall and sighs dramatically. She looks at us switching her eyes back and forth like she's watching a tennis match and begins giggling.

"What?" Me and Peter say in unison. We look at eachother and smile which make Delly erupt in laughter.

"Delly are you ok?" Peter asks, genuinely concerned.

"It's just you guys look so cute together!" I give her a look that could kill and I feel a blush creeping up my cheeks.

"Sorry, sorry" she says putting her hands up. "I need to pee" she skips towards the bathroom, wobbling precariously.

"Remind me never to give Delly alchohal" I mutter.

"Definitely." He looks to me and grins. I learn to ignore the constant bubbly feeling in my stomach.

"So," I begin. But I stop as I realise a certain pair of eyes staring at me from over the bar.

Cato. He is the most irritating man I know. He is constantly flinging himself at girl and his main target being me. And he is coming towards me.

"We have to hide" I whisper. Peter looks confused, so would I but there is no time to explain. Cato is approaching fast and I can't just leave Peter standing there.

"Quickly" I say urgently and I grab his hand to run. Electricity shoots up my arm. His hand is so soft and…. Pull yourself together Katniss. "Sorry about this, there is this idiot who keeps on following me and I don't have the willpower to put up with him right now, oh God there he is" I say as Cato looks around. He hasn't spotted me yet.

"Hide behind me." he offers. So, I lean against the wall as Peter guards me. I notice that he is wearing something around his neck. It looks like a piece of string. I lose my trail of thought as Catom comes and starts talking to Peter.

"Hey, have you seen that girl you were with?" Cato asks Peter.

"Uh, no. I think she went to the bathroom." I try to stifle a laugh but it comes out as a snort. Cato turns around and looks at Peter. Peter hesitates before going into a fake fit of coughs. "Sorry, I have a cold." Cato nods and walks off in the directioin of the bathroom.

When Cato out of sight we burst out laughing.

"Let's go before he comes back" Peter grins. I can't help notices his perfect white teeth and beautiful smile. I really have to stop the flutttering in my stomach.


	7. Chapter 7

We walk outside to get away from the fumes of alchohal. I can't help noticing how beautiful Peter's face is, framed in the soft moonlight. I avert my eyes not wanting him to catch me staring. We perch ourselves on a rock behind the club. It's more quiter even though I can still hear the music pounding from inside.

"Do you want to start over?" he asks turning to face me. "I mean, I don't even know your name."

Oh yeah, Delly was too drunk to introduce me.

"Okay," I chuckle as I grab his hand in a handshake. "I'm Katniss Everdeen."

I can't decipher the look on his face as he stops shaking my hand and just stares at me blankly.

"What's wrong?" I ask because he hasn't replied yet.

"Sorry.. um … I'm Peeta Mellark."

Peeta Mellark. Damn Delly's slurred words.

The memories come back all at once. The first day of school. Days in the meadow. Running to his screams. Never seeing him again. Forcing myself to forget.

How could I not recognise him. How could I forget those eyes I knew so well. Before I know what I'm doing I throw myself into his arms. It feels so familiar. It feels so safe.

"I missed you so much" I whimper, clinging onto him tighter. I'm never letting go this time.

"Me too, I just… I can't believe you're here, it feels like a dream."

"I know." It's all I can say before I feel tears rolling down my cheeks as I remember the little things that I made myself forget. His bubbly laughter. His nose crinkling when he smiled. His steady heartbeat.

I lay my head on his chest and he lays his on my shoulder. No words are needed to be said. We are just here, together.

"What happened to you?" I ask after a long period of silence. He just simply shakes his head.

"I can't." he whispers. So we stay just in eachothers arms because being together again is all we need.

I still can't believe he's here after all these years. What are the odds?

000000000000000

I reluctantly lift myself out of his warm embrace when I hear Finnick calling me.

"I'm here." I call. When he finds me all he does is lift his eyebrows and smirk.

"I'm not gonna ask what you two have been doing." I start blushing again and see Peeta do the same.

"Finnick, please." I groan.

"Okay, sorry. Annie's feeling tired so we're going to head. You can stay if you're … um … busy." He chuckles. I roll my eyes. I think I'll stay with my long lost friend just a little bit longer. My house is only walking distance anyways.

"I'll be home soon." I say as Finnick walks off laughing to himself.

I look up to Peeta and grin. He has changed so much from the little five year old I used to know. So much more handsome. I resist the urge to lean in and kiss him. He probably already has a girlfriend, I tell myself.

He lifts up his hand and tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

"You don't know how happy I am to see you, Katniss." We are so close I can feel his breath tickling my cheek. He leans in closer and closer until he is just a centimetre from my lips he suddenly just presses his soft lips to my forehead. I realise I was holding my breath the entire time.

I tell myself I'm not disappointed. The last thing I want is a relationship tangled in my messy life.

"Peeta, I can't lose you again" I say after a long pause.

"And you won't. I promise" He begins to caress my cheek softly and I can't help hoping that he will lean in again.

"It's getting late, I better go." I say as I stand up to leave. I have to go before I do something stupid like kiss him. "I'm just up the road."

"I better be off as well. I'll walk you as far as the bus stop, that's where I'm parked."

So we walk off towards the bus stop. I sneak quick glances at him while we walk.

"Katniss," Peeta says as the us stop comes into view. " I know I didn't explain anything tonight and there must be so many unanswered questions. It's a long story and a lot to explain."

"I understand, another time." I say although all I want is to know what happened to my poor Peeta.

When we reach the bus stop we exchange numbers and a lingering hug.

I walk to the road and while I'm halfway across I turn around to give one last wave.. Suddenly I see his eyes widen in fear.

"Katniss." He shrieks.

Bang.


	8. Chapter 8

Suddenly I see a white car speeding towards Katniss on the corner.

"Katniss" I shriek. Leaping out of the car. I'm too late.

Bang.

I need to get to her.

"KATNISS"

The car blocks my path. And rolls down the window.

"Get out of my way." I try to dodge the car but he's too fast. I stop by the window to see President Snow. The snake.

" Now, I told you Mr. Mellark that there would be consequences-"

I cut him off by reaching down my shirt and ripping out the key. I fling it in his slimy face and run to Katniss. I would risk my life but not Katniss's.

My beautiful Katniss.

I sink down to the ground and fumble around my pocket for my phone.

"I need an ambulance. We're in the Seam. District 12. Hurry."

I rush beside Katniss. Her hair is splayed across the dirty road and bruises and cuts plaugue her beautiful features. She looks as pale as death.

Death. I crouch my head to her chest. It's beating.

When I see a tear drop on her face I realise that I have been crying. This makes me sob more.

What have I done? I may have killed her, just when I found her I have lost her.

I clutch my stomach because I'm suddenly finding it hard to breath.

Everything else is a blur. People in white. Bright flashing and loud noises. The only thing that I can decipher from this is that they're taking her away.

I jump into the back of the ambulance and see her lying on a stretcher. People are crowded around her. Prodding her and touching her.

She looks completely oblivious. She looks so peaceful and serene.

"Will she be okay?" I croak. One person in white turns around to me.

"We'll see."

I duck under peoples arms and tools and grab her hand.

What have I done?

I stay by her side until we are in the hospital. The people in white carry her on the stretcher into the emergency room.

I sit and wait. This time I don't cry. I don't shiver in fear. I don't scream. I stay silent. There is a possibility that she could be gone forever but there is possibility that she can be with me again. So I just wait.

Maybe the odds will be in my favour this time.

0000000000000

Someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to see a perosn in white.

"She is ready if you would like to see her."

"Is she okay?"

"Yes, she will be fine." I sigh in relief and feel the sadness lift a little bit but it is soon replaced by pure hatred for the snake. "She has broken her arm, nothing we can't fix."

I nod and rush to the room they are keeping her in.

She is lying on the bed in pristine, white hospital gown. The bruises have begun to turn green and the cuts are now covered in plasters. She is still beautiful.

I sit on the chair beside her and gently push the strands of hair from her face. I grab her hand.

Her eyes flicker open and I can see the shock register on her face. She turns to me and I see her smile before sleep takes her under again. I remember the promise I made to myself to always make her smile because it was the prettiest smile in the entire world. It still is.

The door flings open and the man I saw tonight, Finnick, and a woman who I guess is Annie rushes in. They don't give me a second glance as they rush to her side .

"What happened," Finnick asks "They just told us there was an accident."

"She was hit by a car." I look over to see Annie turn her head into Finnick's shirt. I hear her muffled cries as Finnick kisses the top of her head.

Nobody seeing them could doubt their love.

Later a little girl with long blonde hair comes in. Her face is red and blotchy. She has been crying.

I move out if the way for the little girl to grab her hand.

Everybody waits in silence. After what feels like a lifetime Katniss opens her eyes. We all rush to her side.

She looks at each of us.

"What happened?"

"Don't worry everything is ok," I say "Just go back to sleep." She looks at me.

"Peeta?" she gasps. "I … I thought it was a dream."

"No Katniss. I'm here for good."

We smile at eachother. It does feel like an idyllic dream even in this nightmare.

I learned that the little blonde girl is called Primrose. I remember her as a baby. Prim fusses over Katniss making sure she has enough water and she's comfortable. Making sure she is full.

Katniss has to stay overnight and I'm determined never to leave her side. She made Prim go home and get some rest and after Annie falls asleep on Finnick's shoulder, he decides it's time to leave.

It's just me and Katniss.

"Peeta," Katniss says as Finnick and Annie shut the door behind them. "Please tell ehat happened. I can't keep on guessing."

I sigh. This conversation was bound to come up.

"Okay," I begin. "It's a long story."

I tell her what a horrible place Hilltown was. What they made us do, eat and the horrific rules. I don't tell her about the key. Its too much. I can't burden her with the mystery, she is already a victim of it's consequence.

Throughout the story she stays silent. Her eyes trained on mine. She looks so deep in thought I can't tell if she's is even listening.

"And now I'm here." I finish the story with a smile. She still doesn't look satisfied. Her eyes trail down to my chest.

"Where's your key?" How did she know? I put my head in my hands and shake my head. She grabs my arm. "Peeta, tell me the full story."

I can't lie to this girl. She sees right through me.

So I explain to her about the snake. The mystery. And how he killed my father and tried to kill her. I say this in a whisper. I don't want him to hear.

"Katniss, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

"Don't" Is all she can say before she sits up and faces me. She leans her forehead against mine and wraps her arms around my shoulders. I don't see the magnificent girl I saw tonight but the little girl I fell in love with. My best friend that fate took me away from and destiny brought me back to her.


	9. Chapter 9

I stuff my pillow over my head to the sound of Thresh snoring. Would he ever shut up? Thresh is a really nice guy and I'm glad I have him as a roomate but when it comes to falling asleep all I want to do is throw my pillow in his face.

I check my watch. It's 7:00 am. I might as well get up now.

I stand up and stretch my legs. The nightmare was different tonight. It was Katniss. She was getting beat by my mother and there was nothing I could do. I shudder at the thought. I'm glad I don't scream in my sleep. I would probably wake up the whole building.

Once I'm dressed I decide to go get some coffee but when I'm about to open the door I see a letter at my feet. On the envolope my name is written.

Mr. Mellark.

I pick it up and open it.

Dear Mr. Mellark,

The time has come for our first annual meeting at Hilltown. It will be held on the 21st of September. I have sent a letter to everyone of you and I will be very disappointed if you do not turn up. It would be a terribly shame.

Mr. Mellark, it is vital for you to attend this meeting. We have some buisness to discuss.

Best wishes,

President Snow.

I drop the letter to the ground. I had given him my key, what else more does he want?

A week before I have to go back.

I feel like I'm being trapped. Suffocating from the inside out. Snow will never let me escape. Never.

000000000000000000

Me and Delly walk down the hallway together. She's telling me a story but I can't seem to concentrate. I just nod and laugh.

"Oh my gosh, I forgot to say! There's a party on the rooftop at nine. Can you please come?" She asks after she's finished her story.

"Why not?" I have nothing else to do apart from think about Katniss.

"Yay!" She squeals.

0000000000000000000

The stereo is blaring at full volume. I look down at my cup and the liquid is vibrating. The party was grim until Katniss walked in. She lights up the place. It was yesterday when I found out we both go to The University of Panem.

I walk towards her. I haven't seen her since the hospital.

"Hi," I say. "How's your arm?"

"I got my cast off yesterday so everything's back to normal."

"Good, so-"

The music turns up louder, is that even possible?

"Do you want to go to the back?" Katniss asks, noticing my distress. I have never been used to anything loud since Hilltown.

We walk to the back of the rooftop. Nobody's there.

There are plants in pots scatterd everywhere. I think it's meant to be a rooftop garden.

We sit on the ledge and look out over the city. There isn't much in this District but if you look closely you can see the fields of District 11.

Suddenly there is an extreme change in music from the banging rhythem of dancing music to soft, slow music from the orchestra.

We look at eachother and laugh.

"That was drastic." Katniss says, looking confused.

"Yeah, it's like something from Pride and Prejudice." I stand up and take Katniss's hand. "May I have this dance, my lady?" I say in a graceful manner.

"Indeed, kind sir. " she replies as she curtsies.

I place my hand on her waist and she puts hers on my shoulder. We stumble about, failing to keep a straight face. At the end of the song I dip her dramatically to the ground. We fall to the ground in fits of laughter.

"I don't think we're half bad." I say.

"Yes, we're naturals."

We start laughing again.

Every moment I spend with Katniss was worth the wait.

Another slow song plays.

"What is up with this?" I say as I stand up offering my hand again, "Care for another dance?"

Her brow is furrowed and she looks distracted. She stands up and takes a step closer to me. Before I can ask her if she's okay she leans her head closer to mine so our noses our touching. I get to a point were I can't resist anymore so I lean in and gently brush my lips against hers. I lean back slightly and we look into eachother's eyes.

"Is this happening?" Katniss whispers. I nod and she leans in again. She wraps her arms around my neck and I place mine on her waist. Her fingers play with the ends of my hair. I feel her smile as I caress her cheek. I feel warmth spread from my chest to the tips of my being. How long have I waited for this moment?

We pull back when we need to breathe. We sit down against the wall. Our hands entwined.

I plant a kiss on her forehead as we watch the stars.

** a/n hi:) Sorry this chapter was kinda rushed (and not very good). I would really appreciate a review, let me know what you think so far. thank you****! Also I probably won't be updating in about a week xxxx  
**


	10. Chapter 10

I look down at our hands, merged together as one. This is the way it's meant to be. Me and Peeta. I don't know when I realised my feelings for Peeta, when we were five or when our lips touched for the first time, but know it's the only thing I'm sure of.

Bright stars and crescent moon shines down illuminating Peeta's features. I still can't believe he is here. A week ago I had erased any memory of Peeta and now, here I am, just kissed him. In a relationship. Am I? I think. I don't know if Peeta wants that. Is he just a guy who kisses and leaves. Is that all he wants from me? I don't know if he is off with another girl, is this a one time thing?

I suddenly begin to feel quite uncomfortable. What just happened to the perfect atmosphere? My hand begins to feel sweaty in his. I start to fidget and squirm.

"Are you okay?" Peeta's sweet, caring eyes bore into mine, eyebrows raised.

"Fine, just fine. Fine and dandy." I laugh nervously. And rub the back of my neck. I picked up the nervous habit from Gale.

Gale. What would he think about this? Just after I had rejected him, I am now with someone else. Just after my speech of never, ever wanting that kind of affection I'm now with I guy I barely know.

But I do know Peeta. I've known him since I was young. I've known him in my dreams.

I just can't do this to Gale. It's cruel. Imagine loving him and being pushed away only to find that he is now with another girl. Heartbreaking.

I feel like I'm being ripped apart by these two sides of my brain. Love or guilt. Happiness or loneliness, but it comes down to one thing: Gale or Peeta.

I can't. I just can't do this to either of them.

Peeta is now sitting infront of me. His hands cup my face, I don't know for how long I've been out weighing my choices.

"Katniss, if this is too much I can wait," he says desperately as he realises I'm out of my trance. "I'll wait for a lifetime." His voice has lowered to a whisper. The longing I saw in Gale's eyes that night mirror Peeta's. I can't look at it anymore.

I twist around from his reach, leaning the side of my head against the cool wall and shut my eyes. I need to think.

"Do you want me to leave." He says, I can tell he's trying to hide the disappointment. I nod because I don't trust my voice. I hear him walk away and with every step I feel like screaming for him to come back. When I can't see him in the mob of people from the party I lay down on the cemented floor and stare up at the sky.

Now is the time to sort out my priorities. My best friend or the only person I have ever loved.

Gale is like my brother, someone who is always there for me. We will fight but eventually either one of us will just come crawling back. I couldn't lose that because I know if Gale knows about Peeta our friendship will be over. It will be unforgiveable.

But Peeta is my missing puzzle piece. Without him I'm incomplete. I know if I let him leave again it will be impossible to love, I will live alone because I know loving like that, like this, will be fake. Because it's only Peeta.

"Katniss?" I lift my head to see Thresh coming towards me. When I first met him I thought he was a bit intimidating but I know him know as the sweetest guy I know, after Peeta.

It hurts even thinking about Peeta now.

Thresh crouches down on his knees.

"We couldn't find you" he says.

"Well you didn't look very well." I croak. I realise I'm still lying on the ground, looking manic but I don't bother getting up. What's the point?

Tears well up in my eyes and spill down my face I don't have the willpower to wipe them away.

Thresh just simply lays down beside me and doesn't say a word. He knows if I want to tell him what had happened I will. Thresh knows prying me about this won't help me feel better.

I need to let it out, and if there was someone I would want to tell it would be Thresh. I trust him.

"I've loved him since I was five years old." It's like that sentence was the restraint of all my feelings and saying it realeases it out into the open. I burst out into tears. It's all that's needed to be said, there is no details needed with Thresh. He understands. So he lifts me from the ground and takes me in his rocks me soothingly but it doesn't feel right. I don't feel relief. I don't feel safe and I don't feel in the least bit comforted because I know that the only person who can make me feel all those things by only holding me in his arms is Peeta. Thresh has not made me feel better but he has guided me into realisation. I need Peeta. He is my friend. He is my guardian. He is my soulmate.

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After Thresh had taken me home and guarded me from the questioning eyes of strangers, I lay in bed. Wondering what in the world would make Peeta forgive me. What excuse could I give? And how would I explain the reason I made him suffer more after all he has been through?

I don't know how I fell asleep with my mind still buzzing with these questions but soon enough the comforting darkness took me under, letting me forget the day but sending me to my nightmares.

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"Hello," the woman says from the behind the counter. She has beautiful, flowing, brown hair down to the middle of her back. Her eyes are a hazel colour. She has freckles scattered across her nose. Everything about her is sweet and welcoming. "How can I help you?"

"I just want to buy these." I say as I place my items on the surface. She scans my items while humming to herself. She suddenly drops the can of coke she held and smiles the sweetest smile.

"Hi!" she squeals. I hear the door shut to the store and footsteps coming. I turn around and see Peeta more handsome then ever. He walks right past me, not even looking at me. He leans over the counter and plants a kiss on the girl's lips. I suddenly feel nausous.

"Peeta?" I whisper. He hears me and pulls back from the kiss looking extremely irritated.

"Do I know you?" he says. Flicking his eyes back to the pretty girl and smiling. The look in his eyes when he looks at her are the same when he looks at me. Love.

"No, sorry." I murmer, I gather my things from the counter and rush out the door. I look in through the window to see them laughing before Peeta begins to lean in again. I can't look.

Suddenly I'm falling. I don't know where.

Thunk.

I wake up with my face slamming against the wooden floor of my bedroom. I sit up and begin to rub my nose.

This nightmare was different though it was ten times worse then my usual one because I know it's bound to happen. It's not a nightmare it's a close reality.

I look over to my bedside table to check the time. 4:00 am.

I perch myself on my bed knowing I won't be able to sleep tonight.

I slip on my coat and walk out the door as quietly as I can not to wake Madge, my roomate. I don't know when she arrived after my breakdown but she's obviously in a deep sleep.

I know what room he's in, room 14. I walk down the stairs in a trance, until I'm right outside his door my hand hovering to knock when reality hits me like a brick in the face.

I'm in the hallway, in the middle of the night, in my pyjamas, outside Peeta Mellark's room, about to knock which would result in waking him and his roomate. I'm about to retreat when I hear a chuckle to my left. I twist around to see Cato leaning against the wall, eyeing me up and down with a greedy look in his eye. I realise the situation I'm in. Alone in a hallway with Cato, in my pyjamas. I'm about to sprint when he leaps infront of me bocking my path. He grabs me by the waist and squeezes so tight it will bruise. I let out a whimper loud enough for him to cover my mouth. I scream but it's muffled in Cato's huge hand.

"Oh, Katniss" he purrs. "I'm not going to hurt you if you don't cooperate."

I'm begin to squirm but he tightens his grip. I shut my eyes, willing the tears to go. I will not let Cato see my weakness.

Suddenly, the door to room 14 flings open. Peeta stands there scanning the hallway until he sees me. He looks completely shocked until he springs into action. Flinging himself at Cato and pinning him to the ground. Peeta punches him on the jaw. Cato is writhing and fidgeting but Peeta doesn't budge.

"If you touch her again I will knock you out black." Peeta says, his voice quivering with anger. All Cato does is smirk. Bad idea. Peeta connects his fist to his nose and blood flows from it. "NEVER GO NEAR HER AGAIN!" he shouts. His shouts have now stirred most of the hallway and people emerge from their rooms. They stare in shock at the scence. "Get out." Peeta says as he lifts him from the ground. He pushes him away with such vigour, Cato stumbles to the ground again. He crawls towards his room at the end of the hallway and falls through the open door.

I find that I had been standing still for the whole time holding my breath. For a second me and Peeta just look at eachother before he aproaches me and gently takes my hand, leading me towards his room.

I just stare at Peeta. This time I don't avert my eyes in embaressment when he sees me. I'm not scared anymore.

When I'm in his room and sitting on his bed reality hits me again and I wrap my coat around me, self-conciously.

"I had a bad dream." I whimper.

He doesn't ask any questions he just sits in front of me and leans his forehead against mine, wraps his arms around me and whispers 'I love you' again and again. The feeling of happiness is overwhelming and it doesn't take long until I'm in his arms.

"I love you more then anyone. I don't care what the world thinks, Peeta. You are my world, and I'm never changing my mind." I say. I look up at him and it's as if his eyes light up the whole room, he's about to say something but I put a finger up to his lips stopping him, because I'm not done. "You are my other half, I'm nothing without you."

And with that we lean into eachother without hesitation, pressing our lips together. I feel him smile against my lips and I do the same. I pull away when I find myself yawning. Peeta begins to chuckle and I get that bubbly feeling I got at the night of the party.

He takes me in his arms and I lean against his chest. My eyes begin to droop and as I'm about to fall asleep and I say,

"Stay with me."

"Always."


	11. Chapter 11

Am I lying on a cloud? Because I feel like I'm floating, elavated with happiness. I can't remember why so I just snuggle deeper into my warm, safe bed. It feels more delicious then ever and I never want to leave.

"Good morning, beautiful." A voice whispers into my ear, it tickles the side of my face. I rub it, brushing the feeling away because it's waking me. The only thing I that I know I want is staying here, asleep on my cloud. I sink deeper into the bed wanting to get deeper and deeper into sleep. And I realise that this night I had no nightmares. I want the moment to last.

"It's time to get up."

No. It's not. I groan and turn around, curling up in a ball laying my head on a soft pillow. The voice laughs and it warms me more then any duvet so I try to get closer to it. The clear sound of the laughter makes me open my eyelids. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust from the light streaming in from the window, but when a see Peeta's face shining, sparkling in the morning light, I'm glad I woke up.

I sigh dramatically and flick his ear.

"You didn't have to wake me up so early." I try to maintain a stern look, but I fail miserably. So I give up and lay my head on his chest.

"It's twelve." Peeta says. I jump up as reality hits me again.

"We're meant to be in class."

"Not if we're sick." he laughs as he kisses the frown creases off my forehead. I give in to his protests and lie back down.

"I hope you realise that I'm never letting you go." I say.

"Please don't." he whispers into my hair.

I am so blissfully happy, I don't think I will ever be able to stop smiling. Even when I think of Gale my constant grin doesn't falter.

I need to tell Peeta, he deserves to know the dilemma.

"Peeta I need to tell you something," he just stays silent, urging me to continue. "You know Gale?" he shakes his head. This is going to take longer then I thought. "Me and Gale have been friends for as long as I can remember. When my father died…" I feel a twinge, longing for my father. Peeta senses my discomfort and holds me tighter, lifting me up so we sit upright, me practically on his lap. "When he died he helped me through it all, but when he was walking me to school he kissed me," I feel Peeta stiffen with.. jealousy? I plant a kiss on the side of his mouth to assure him that Gale's kiss meant nothing compared to him. "But I rejected him. When you left I couldn't love anyone like I loved you, so when I forced myself to forget I subconciously forced myself to never have feelings for anyone like that. He knew it and I got mad. We made up and we're friends now but when he finds out that we're together I don't know how he'll react. That's why I hesitated last night." I suddenly feel guilty all over agin, but not about Gale. About last night. So I wrap my arms around him again and crash into him, this time not hesitant. I get goosebumps all over. Peeta pulls back and looks me in the eye. He gently takes my face in his hands.

"Katniss Everdeen, I love you with every inch of my heart." The permanent smile grows wider. And before I can react the door flings open. I jerk around to see Thresh stomping in. He hasn't noticed me yet. On reflex, I leap from the bed and roll underneath it. I didn't make a sound.

"You're still in bed?" I hear Thresh ask inquisitivly.

"Yeah I… erm… slept in." I hear him move his feet so they are placed on the ground beside my head. I'm tempted to tickle them, but I resist.

" will be so pissed off if he finds out." I hear Thresh slump on his bed. "Do you know Katniss?" My ears prick up at the sound of my name. I feel Peeta stiffen and shuffle about nervously.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because she's under your bed." Thresh begins to laugh a throuty laugh. I roll out from underneath my hiding place. And I feel my cheeks burn. Peeta and I look at eachother in defeat and sigh in unison. Peeta lifts me effortlessly from the ground and places me beside him.

"It's not what it looks like." I say to Thresh when he has stopped laughing. "We just fe-"

"You don't need to explain," Thresh says interrupting me while beginning to stand up. "I just needed to grab something, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone."

Thresh leaves and me and Peeta stay like statues, cheeks flaming. Once he shut the door behind him I put my heads in my hands and groan. When I look up Peeta's laughing, his laugh is so infectious, like music to my ear so I can't help but join him.

"I have to go now, Madge will be fuming." I say when I realise the time.

"Okay," Peeta says as he grabs my coat from the floor and puts it on my small shoulders, I lean into him as he unnescessarily secures the buttons. "Will this be a secret?" I tilt my head up to him. I don't care what people think, but I owe it to Gale to tell him first.

"No, but Gale deserves to hear it from me not from my friends, friend." Peeta nods understandable. I need to go but I can't bring myself to leave the warmth of his touch. I'm about to force myself to leave when he lifts my chin up and leans down pressing his lips briefly on mine.

He's making it harder and harder to go.

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"Where in the world were you Katniss Everdeen." Madge snaps as I walk in the door.

"I'll tell you when you calm down." I say nonchantlantly, slipping my coat off. Madge looks me up and down.

"You're in your pyjamas." She scowls.

"I am." I slump down on the bed, should I tell her? Yes. "Okay, I'll explain everything if you promise not to say this to anyone, not even Delly."

"Okay, fine." She sits infront of me on the opposite bed.

"Me and Peeta are together." I see her frown turn into a huge grin, her mouth wide open eyebrows half way up her forhead. She jumps up and squeals so loudly I wonder if they can hear her in the other building.

"Oh my gosh," she gushes "I knew you two would get together! The way he looks at you and… oh my gosh." She sits down and grabs my hand, she has a proud smile on her face, tears in her eyes? Oh god. "I'm so happy for you." I can almost see the cogs turning in her brain when she jerks up and gapes. "You spent the night with him so you-"

'Madge. No, you know I'm not that type of girl." I say quickly. "We just fell asleep." I smile remembering last night and this morning. I miss him. I suddenly feel quite sad.

Pull yourself together, you saw him 5 minutes ago.

I blank out when Madge begins getting overexcited again. I just nod and laugh.

"I really need to get dressed." I say stoppong Madge in mid sentence. I grab a baggy, cream jumper and put on some skinnny jeans. I braid my hair down my back and pull on my grey converse.

Madge walks towards class with me and we part ways at the corridor.

"Say hi to Peeta for me." She says a little too loudly. I get a few looks but not anybody that I know.

I walk down the corridor. People flood in and I have to twist from side to side. Then I see his clear, blue eyes locking with mine. We brush past eachother and he grabs my hand and squeezes it slightly.

Ignoring him is going to be harder then I thought.


	12. Chapter 12

The feeling of pure happiness never falters throughout the whole day. My constant smile widens whenever I think of Katniss. I know that she feels the same way about me that I feel about her. The only problem is keeping it a secret. I don't know how I will be able to stop myself from kissing her whenever I see her.

I tap my foot impatiently during class, History of Art. I look at the clock on the wall. Every second feels like a lifetime. I can't stop thinking about her gray eyes and the way they sparkle, the way she twitches in her sleep. Her croaky voice in the morning. The way she licks her lips. The way she walks. The way she lights up the room. The way she makes me feel when I'm with her, like laughter bubbling up in my stomach, feeling like I'm flying and nothing can bring us back to earth.

I notice everyone around me moving, walking out the room. I follow suit , I grab my books and walk out the door. I'm walking down the corridor when I see her. Trying to look oblivious. I swerve around a group of people so I will be able to walk past her, maybe grab her hand again. I'm about to reach out but she does it first. Grabbing my hand lightly before smiling sweetly at me. She lets go of my and I immediately miss her touch. I open my hand to find a note, it's written in her messy handwriting. That adds on another thing to my list that I love about Katniss.

Meet me behind the campus at 5:00.

I smile to myself. Another hour.

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I rub my hands together, its starting to get cold. The autumn leaves are beginning to fall leaving a trail of orange, red and brown underneath the trees. I pull my jacket tighter around me and walk behind the building.

I see her there, looking around. She twists her head and she see's me. I walk up to her and grab her hand. I get the tingling feeling rising in the pit of my stomach and I decide that I like it.

I do what I have been dying to do all day and I pull her into me and kiss her. She warms me to the bone and I'm not letting go. Her hair tickles my chin and I like it. She steps on my right foot but I don't mind. When she pulls back she has that look of satisfation. Her eyes closed, lips tilted up in a small smile.

I brush her hair out of her face and she opens her eyes. I focus on getting that one strand of hair that always falls back to stay behind her ear.

"Let's go." Katniss says and takes my hand. I bring her close so our hands our now squished between us.

"Where are we going?" I ask. She skips in front of me, walking backwards and grabs both of my hands, pulling me forward. I laugh at her excited expression, releasing the bubbly feeling in my stomach out in the open.

"You'll see." She replies misteriously. I bring her closer and kiss her forehead then to my side again and drape my arm across her shoulder.

I see houses that I recognise, Katniss's house. My old house. I think I might start gagging when she pulls me down a narrow lane. Then I see it. The Meadow. I remember those perfect days. Staring at the creatures in the clouds.

"For old times sake?" she asks. I know exactly what she means.

"Race you?" I say, poised to sprint. She mirrors me. We glare at eachother competitively and I smile because she looks so adorable competitive.

"One, Two, Thr-"

"GO." I shout racing ahead.

"Peeta!" she shrieks.

I race toward the Meadow, I can hear her footsteps behind me, coming closer and closer until we are neck and neck. She smirks at me as she speeds ahead. I don't care. I watch the way her braid flys behind her. The band that hold's it together slipping off with the force of the wind. It falls off releasing her hair so it flows behind her.

She slows to a walk and sits on the ground. Smiling. My heart melts for the hundteth times today. I jog up sit beside her. I lie on my side and she does the same. We look at eachother. I feel like my heart is bursting from the seams. I pull her in closer and kiss her again. I hold her tighter, bringing her in for a hug and she tucks her head into my chest and I wrap my arms around her.

"I love you." I say wistfully kissing the top of her head.

"I love you too." She pulls out and we lay next to eachother, looking up to the sky. Hands entwined.

I spot a crocodile in the sky.

"Look, a crocodile." I say pointing to the sky.

"And a monkey." I scan the sky. I can't find it.

"Where is-" Before I can finish my sentence she begins tickling me. Laughing loudly. I kick and flail my arms about, I can't imagine how ridiculous I look. But I gather myself and flip her around so I'm on top of her. I tickle her relentlessly until she grabs my face in her hands and brings me down for a kiss. I lean in closer and brush my lips slightly against her when she flips me at the last minute and tickles me again. I groan aloud in annoyance.

I pull her down to me and when I'm just about to kiss her again I whisper,

"Don't tickle me now." She leans in closer and I blank out. I just feel the warmth of us clinging to eachother.

I didn't think I could ever feel this consumed in happiness. So in love.

We were so absorbed in our own world that we didn't notice someone watching the whole blissful scene.

**I just want to say thanks for all the lovely reviews and all the people who favourited and alerted this. **

**Please tell me what you think on the story so far:)**


	13. Chapter 13

The look of satisfaction plays across Katniss's face. I touch her cheek gently and she opens her eyes.

She looks over me and she stiffens. She shoots up, bringing herself to her feet.

Did I do something wrong?

I begin to stand up as well.

"Rory!" she exclaims, a fake smile plastered across her face. I turn around to see a boy, about fourteen standing by the forest, a couple metres away from us. He has short back hair and olive skin. He has a look half between shock and amusement on his face. "How are you." She says as someone comes up behind the boy. He looks like an older duplicate of Rory, his brother probably. I see Katniss's eyes widen. What's wrong?

"Gale," she says. Oh, shit. "I was just talking to Rory." She smiles sweetly.

Gale's eyes flick beetween the two of us, jealousy creeping into his eyes.

"Who's that?" He nods his head towards me. Katniss begins to play with her hands.

"Peeta." She says quietly. I smile up at him, I hope my fear doesn't show.

"Hi." I say, putting my hand up in a feeble wave. He doesn't say anything.

"This is your boyfriend?" The coldness in his voice is sharp.

We stay silent and Katniss bows her head.

"KATNISS, IS THIS YOUR BOYFRIEND!" he shouting now. Katniss looks so offended, I can't see why?

"Catnip." She whispers so softly that I know it's only for her lifts her head and nods. I suddenly feel really uncomfortable. I want to fall down a hole and never come back. I see Rory slowing edging away. We exchange a look and he mouths 'Good luck' before he rushes away in the direction of the town.

"Do you love him." His voice is shaking. Hopeful, angry. Katniss nods her head again.

Gale just shakes his head and looks of toward the forest. His face is twisted with emotion.

"Gale-" Katniss begins but he cuts her off.

"I gave you everything. I was there for you. I was always your friend." His voice is low the hurt trickling through. "I would have waited a lifetime for you Katniss."

Would.

"You lied to me." His voice is rising. "Why would you do that?" He looks at her, waiting for an answer but there is silence.

He sighs in disapproval, hatred, longing and walks off with his shoulder's hunched and head drooping. Before he walks out of sight he turns around and looks at Katniss. Giving her one last chance. For a second I think she's going to run toward him but she stays firmly in her place. When he's gone she sinks to the ground, tears rolling down her cheeks. I hate seeing her like this and it makes me want to hit Gale for making her go through these emotions that my beautiful Katniss shouldn't go through.

I sit infront of her and do the thing that comforted me in those times of darkness. I speak those words that coaxed me out of that whirlpool, make the cold that lingered over me go away by that warm touch and with the simple gesture of our foreheads touching I tell her that she is never alone that I will always be with her even if I'm not there. Because even if these precious memories fade away the feeling of happiness will always last. Even if that person is never there you will know that feeling like that is 's what keeps you living because even if the feeling lasts for only a second it's still there.

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"I love her, it's just the way she makes me feel, you know?" Marvel says, mimicing me in a wistful tone.

"Marvel, shut up." I say. I join the groups laughter because I know that's what I've been like for the past two days. Marvel sighs deeply, clutching his heart and looks of into nothingness. I punch his arm lightly. Thresh is still in a fit of laughter from his previous joke. I don't even want to think about it, the blush on my cheek is still visible. Marvel can be really sick sometimes.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I'm glad I've an excuse to zone out for a bit. It's from Johanna. I havn't talked to her in a while.

_Hey brainless. Are you going to the weird reunion Snow's putting on tomorrow? _

My heart drops. I completely forgot about that. I groan inwardly and I try to swallow my fear.

_Yeah, I guess we have to. We need to meet up soon, it's been a while_.

I press send and in a matter of seconds it buzzes again.

_Awww, do you miss me?_

I laugh.

_My heart is breaking, Johanna. _

_Okay, coffee after social nightmare tomorrow?_

_Looking forward to it._

I turn back to Thresh and Marvel and they're laughing, probably another tasteless joke.

"Who was that, loverboy?" Thresh asks. They thought of the nickname a few days ago and I havn't been called Peeta since.

"An old friend." I reply.

"Who?" Marvel asks.

"You guys are so nosy," I say shaking my head. "This girl called Johanna."

"Is she hot?" I shoot daggers at Marvel.

"Marvel." I drone.

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I rap my knuckles on the wooden door and listen out for footsteps. The sound of pitter patter comes closer and the door flings open to reveal a very sleepy looking Katniss. Her eyes lighten and she wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me. I'll never get used to this.

"Katniss," I say as we walk into the room. "I just wanted to tell you that I have to go for the evening to this thing in Hilltown." I hope she won't ask to come, I don't want her near the snake.

"'I'll come." She says confidently.

"As much as I want you to, it's not an option," I say firmly, placing my arms on her shoulders. "I don't want to put you in danger." She purses her lips and I pray that she'll let it go because I know I'll always give in to those beautiful gray eyes.

"Fine." She sighs. I let out the breath I realise I was holding and kiss her on the forehead.

"Okay I need to go now." I say looking at my watch.

"Can't you wait a little longer." She pleads, turning her lower lip down. I laugh at how easily she can persaude me and I lift her in my arms and sit on the bed. Letting her lay on my lap. She grins that grin that makes my heart melt. I lean my forehead to hers and stare into those eyes. I love the way they light up when I come into view. I love the way they sparkle after a kiss and I love the way they look now. Clear, content and beautiful.

I am buried so deep in this love I have for Katniss that I know I will never find a way out and I never want to. This world we live in when we are together beats reality, it feels like I'm living in a fairytale. Stuck in a storybook. Always a happily ever after.

I press my lips against hers again and it feels so natural, so right. Doing this with someone else is unthinkable. It's always been me and Katniss.

I don't know how long we sit here like this when someone barges in the door. Madge.

"Katniss, why is the-" she looks up and jumps back. "Jeez, I nearly had a heart attack!" she exclaims clutching her heart dramatically. Katniss jumps off my lap and flushes red. We stand like this for a couple of seconds before I notice the time.

"I need to go now anyway." I say. I kiss Katniss in the cheek and lean down to her ear.

"I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." She says it loud enough so Madge can hear. It sends me a hidden message: I don't care who knows it. I smile again again as she brushes the piece of hair away that was lying in front of my eye. I say goodbye to Madge before I walk out the door and as I'm about to shut it behind me I look over my shoulder and lock eyes with Katniss. We smile and I feel it confirms something. You are mine, I am yours.


	14. Chapter 14

I jump into my car and rev the engine. I try to stop shaking put it's impossible. I'm completely terrified. Not only do I have to go back to my the prison of my childhood I have to face Snow and God know's what he has in store for me.

I drive out of the gates. I take a deep breath as I make the turn toward Hilltown.

My thoughts of Katniss had wiped away any thoughts about my father's key. I miss the weight of it hanging around my neck but the weight of it's consequences still hang down on me.

What was so important about it? Why did my father have it? Why did he give it to me? Why does the snake need to talk to me if he has it?

Before I know it I'm pulling into the driveway of Hilltown. The memories of the first time I came here come back to me and so does the sinking feeling of being trapped. Never able to escape. I was right.

I park the car next to several others. I take a shaky breath and walk to the big door. I feel like my six year self. Terrified. Confused. Lost.

I push open the door. Nothing has changed. The grimness still looms over me. The growing darkness and coldness increasing as you walk further and further into the depths of your nightmares. I shiver crawls down my spine as I stand infront of Snow's office. I quickly scurry away. Not giving him the chance to call my name.

I look up the stairs and see my old cell. I look to my left to see the gray cafeteria where I ate all my stomach churning meals and I look out the small window to see the days where I laboured. I expect to see the usual nothingness but now I see a couple of chairs scattered around and faces that I recognise but never bothered getting to know. I walk out the door and a sharp gust of wind hits me. I perch myself on a plastic chair away from the rest of my 'brothers and sisters'.

I sit here, looking at the ground for about an hour until I hear footsteps coming toward me. I look up to see Johanna trying to contain a grin. I stand up and pull her into a hug.

"You're pathetic, brainless." She chuckles. I know she means well.

"I know." I reply as I sit back down. She sits beside me and looks around.

"Party of the year, right." She says sarcastically.

"Tell me bout it." I reply with as much enthusiasum. I hear the door slam loudly and loud footsteps coming toward us. I look up to see Ms. Coin. She doesn't bother to hide her disgust as she stands infront of us.

"Hello family." She spits. "I would like to welcome you back to Hilltown. We will be having refreshments shortly. President Snow would like to chat to you all seperately, to know how you all are getting along in your new life. Starting with Peeta Mellark."

I share a look with Johanna before I stand up and walk toward the office. I remember this feeling. It's a feeling that I never wanted to experience again. I try to remember the feeling of love with me and Katniss but it's hard. Fear overpowers it, it intoxicates my body. Every step I take shows me another possibility of what the snake wants with me. But I know what I want to get out of this visit, I need to know what this key unlocks.

I'm outside of his office. My heartbeat pounds loudly, I wonder if he can hear it. I wonder if he can sense my fear. I hope he can spare me my dignity.

"Come in Mr. Mellark." I gulp and open the door. I step in and see him. He's wearing a pristine, white suit. His hair is slick back and his eyes narrow.

"It's so nice to see you again." He hisses. I can't find any words.

"Still a quiet one, I see." He points toward a chair. "Sit." I walk over stiffly and slump down on the chair. I feel so much more vunerable and I regret sitting down.

"How is Ms. Everdeen." I clench my hands together. Don't hurt him. Don't hurt him.

"Fine." The hatred shoots through my voice making it shake.

"Good, I hate to hurt such a pretty face." I really have to restrain myself from not ripping him to smithereens.

"Now, enough chit-chat. I want to talk about this key." He reaches over and opens a box. He pulls out the key. "I need you to tell me where the cabinet is."

What cabinet? I think. I have no idea what he's talking about but I have a plan.

"I know where it is," I say, his eyes glint greedily. "But I won't tell you where it is unless you tell me exactly what's inside it."

I glimmer of doubt flicks through his eyes but greed overpowers it. He leans forward in his seat.

"It unlocks a secret. Information." His breath reeks of blood and roses, I shiver. "If we unlock this it gives us the power to persuade the whole world to fall to my knees."

My heart sinks. This is what my father was fighting for, not just not to let the key fall into his hands but the world. But how is that possible?

"What is it?" I ask, my voice lowering.

"The Hunger Games."


	15. Chapter 15

The Hunger Games? What the hell is that?

"What?" Is all I can say. Snow chuckles.

"I'm going to tell you the full story Mr. Mellark, because I'm feeling generous." He suddenly turns serious. "Me and your father were work assosciates once upon a time."

I freeze. My father worked with this snake?

"We decided to make up this formula, so to speak, to make the world ours."

I'm finding it hard to breath again. Not only did my father work with the snake he also helped him to gain this terrible power.

"Me and your father were so close, so close to eternal power when he left and brought this key with him. This key unlocks the cabinet where all the inforrmation to this Hunger Games is. The information to complete my plans."

"What is the Hunger Games?" I say my voice lowering with anticipation. Snow smirks.

"It is a game where we take a boy and a girl from each District to fight to the death in an arena."

I think my heart has stopped beating. What is the porpuse?

"If we force people to do this, we will have the power of fear to rule the world." He smiles a smile so evil I cower down in my seat.

Even though fear is coursing through my veins I have a sudden surge of bravery. I will never let the snake find this key. Even if I die in the process I will never let it unlock these sick games.

"So Mr. Mellark, where is my cabinet?" He leans over, searching my eyes.

"I don't know." I say firmly as I stand up.

Snow twitches. His eyes grow wider. The hatred boils over. He lifts himself from his chair, arms shaking and walks closer to me.

I think I'm going to vomit but I keep a straight face. I think I'm going to fall to the ground, begging for mercy but I stand tall and look down on him. For once I feel brave in his presence and for once I know I won't wimper in fear. I am strong.

"Mr. Mellark." He says, seething with anger. "I hope you know what I'm forced to do at this moment."

In my head I scream for myself to run but in my heart I know that it's not an option. This is the moment that has been waiting to happen for years and I will do it justice.

"You will tell me where that cabinet is." He presses his finger in my chest and I try not to wince.

"Have you heard of lying, Snow?" I say while pushing him off me. He remanins eerily calm.

"Yes, I believe I have. Have you heard of the power of force, Mr. Mellark."

Power of force. What is he going to do?

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to force that information out of you. Even if you don't know I'm sure you'll find it deep down."

Snow snaps his fingers and I immediately begin to hear footsteps pounding in unison. The door flings open to reveal six men. They are about twice the size of me. The are all coated in black and they stay in the same positon.

"This boy is being diffucult. I need some information, you know what to do."

I can't run. I can't hide. I can't escape.

The men stomp forward and grab me by the arms. They drag me outside. I could scream but what would that do for me, I could cry but it never gives me relief. I let them take me and I know whatever they do I will not tell them anything. I will not give Snow the satisfaction of seeing my pain. I will not be a piece in his wretched games.

The men push a door open to reveal a white, sterile room. In the middle of it lies a chair. They are about to push me towards it but there is no need. I walk towards it and sit down, smiling.

I place my hands on the arms of it and straps enclose my wrists and my ankles. There is no escsape.

Snow's voice suddenly fills the room.

"We will not step down until you tell us where the cabinet is."

"Fair enough." I reply, my voice sound and strong. I brace myself for what's to come.

I hear a sizzle coming from behind me. Coming closer and closer until I hear it at my feet.

_Zap._

The pain shoots through me alerting all my senses. I close my eyes and a tear rolls down my cheek. My heart is pounding in irregular beats and my mind goes blank.

The sizzle is coming again and this time I'm prepared.

_Zap._

I bend forward as the electricity runs through me. I can't take it. A sharp breath comes from me.

The sizzle is approaching and I'm not prepared. I'm trapped.

_Zap. _

This time the pain is so excruciating a strangled cry escapes me. Suddenly a memory pops in my head.

_My father in his office. I'm three years old. I walk in and he is shuffling about, papers scattered all over the floor. _

"_Daddy, what's wrong?" I ask. He twists around and looks at me. He has a frantic look in his eyes. _

"_Peeta, I need you to go, okay?" he says calmly. I nod, oblivious to what was happening before me. I walk out and I can't help but look through the crack in the door. He picks up a file and places it in a silver case. He looks around, checking if anyone can see him and presses something at the side of his bookcase. I stifle a gasp as a square piece in the wall opens, revealing a safe. He places the case carefully in it and shuts the safe door. _

"_PEETA!" my mother shrieks. I leave the door and run to my mother. I push the strange scene out of my mind because it makes no sense. _

I know where the cabinet is. I feel liberated. I have something that Snow wants and he can't have it.

_Zap._

I go black.


	16. Chapter 16

**a/n Thank you for all your lovely reviews! I have about 5 more chapters or something, I not sure yet and maybe an epilogue? What do you think? **

"Madge, please." I drone.

"No seriously, can I be your bridesmaid?" she pleads. I sigh and take out my phone checking for any messages. Peeta had been gone for the whole day, I thought he would be back hours ago.

We hear a knock on the door. Madge prances over and opens it. Delly is there.

"Hi," she squeals.

"Hey!" Madge says enthusiastically. "Come in!" she drags Delly inside.

"Sorry," she says once she's sitting down on the bed. "I just couldn't stand Clove. She was on the phone to her high maintenance friend. Shimmer or something ridiculous." She shakes her head.

"Glimmer?" I ask.

"Yeah," Delly replies "Do you know her?"

"Unfortunetly, yes." I sigh remembering the days she tormented me. "What was wrong?"

"Some guy had dumped her, I think his name was Kale."

I snap my head around to Delly.

"Gale?" I say quieter now.

"Yeah, that's the one. Do you know him as well?" I nod.

"What were they saying?" I ask curiously.

"Well, this Gale had dumped Glimmer out of the blue yesterday. She came over to his house and he was just lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. And he just said 'Glimmer, I can't.' and he left her in his room. Just standing there."

I drop my gaze to the floor. I'm such a horrible person, making my best friends fee-

I suddenly feel nausous. My head is pounding. I hear Peeta. I can hear his screams echoing in my head. What are they doing to him?

I feel an arm on my shoulder.

"Katniss," Madge says slowly. "What's wrong?" I hear it in my head again and then silence. Not just a normal silence. Silence that suffocates the room. A hollow silence. I need to get to him.

I thrash around but Delly and Madge have my arms and they lift me on my bed. I hear faint murmers around me but the silence tunes it out. I feel a wet towel covering my head but it doesn't help in the least. I need to find him.

I thrash and squirm until I feel, see and hear nothing.

000000000000000

I'm in the mines. The coal dust lingers in every nook and cranny trying to find a place to land.

"Katniss." I turn around to see my father. He's smiling and he's beckoning me forward. I begin to run to him but the ground begins to shake.

_Boom. _

Then he's gone in a cloud of shrapnel. I scream for him to come back. But he's gone. Gone from me forever. I sink to the ground and rock back and forth.

"Catnip." This time I turn around to see Gale. His arms are outstretched and I run to him with out hesitation. I'm just about to embrace him when I hear him. Peeta. He's screaming. I twist around.

"Catnip, what are you doing." The hurt looks so real in his eyes but I have to get to Peeta so I run to his screams. "I thought you loved me." He screams after me.

_Boom._

And Gale's gone. I still run. The tears are falling rapidly down my cheeks.

And then I see Peeta. We run towards eachother. We crash into eachother. Holding on desperately when I feel the ground vibrate again. We have to go.

I grab his hand and run but the vibrating is everywhere. I see light and a ladder. Maybe this time I will be able to escape.

We sprint towards it and clamber up.

_Boom._

I see the mines below me. They erupt in a cloud of dust. But we're safe. I hold onto Peeta's hand and I don't feel sad anymore because he's here. He brings me into a hug and it feels so right.

Suddenly I see the witch coming towards us with an evil sneer on her wretched face. She grabs Peeta's arm and he screams. That bloodcurdling scream that I was always to late to stop.

She runs at an abnormal speed taking Peeta with her. I see him shrink to his six year old self. Wimpering and crying.

I run after them into a building. I see them through a glass door that I can't open. She has a whip in her hand. The fear in Peeta's eyes is so unbearable that I can't watch. But I can't avert my eyes. It's impossible. No matter how hard I try to turn away I can't. The whip slashes across his beautiful, delicate skin. A strangled cry escapes his lips. I have to get to him. I whack the door with all my strength but it doesn't budge.

I gasp as I jerk awake.

The only thought that processes in my mind is Peeta and how I have to get to him. I'm about to leap out of bed when Madge rushes in the door. She has a frantic look in her eye.

"Katniss." She exclaims. "Come quick. It's Peeta."

It's Peeta. Peeta. Peeta.

Before I know it I'm running out the door. I hear Madge behind me. I hear her breaths and her footsteps.

"This way." She calls as we run to her car. We leap in and she speeds out of the campus.

"What happened?" My voice is quivering. I can't help it.

"We don't know." She replies as we turn around a sharp corner at top speed. "He's in the hospital."

We reach the hospital and without hesitation we rush out the car. I sprint in the door. Where is he?

I look around me desperately expecting him to leap out of a corner and hug me. Maybe this is all a bad dream? A sick joke?

Madge comes up beside me and ushers me towards the reception.

"We are looking for Peeta Mellark." She says. The woman taps on the computor.

"He's not stable enough for visits yet." She says.

Stable?

"You will have to wait."

No.

"I need to see him." I say leaning over the counter.

"I'm afraid we can't allow you to do that just yet." She says calmly.

"You don't understand," I say desperately. "I _need _to see him."

"I'm sorry." She replies shaking her head. "He is in a vital condition."

This breaks me. I scream. I cry. I sink. I feel like I'm drowning in the sea of my own tears. I need to get to him but I can't. The current is pulling me away. Pulling me down. Pulling me in every direction away from Peeta. But I need to get to him.

"Shh, shh." I hear someone say. I'm shaking. I feel someone's arm around me. I open my eyes to see Madge stroking my hair. But she can't console me. The only person wo can do that is Peeta.

"Where is he?" I sob. "I need to get to him."

"Not yet, Katniss." She sooths. "Nearly."

I lean into her and cry onto her shoulder.

I hear whispers and I lift my head. All I hear is 'Peeta' and 'Room 23'. That's all I need. I rush from the chair to the direction of the rooms.

Room 19. Room 20. Room 21. Room 22. And finally Room 23.

I barge in the door. The room is white. He lies in the bed. His blonde hair is sprawls over the pillow. His eyes are shut tightly. He looks perfectly fine. No bruises, no cuts. He looks like my Peeta.

I stand beside him and grab his hand. A wire is coming out of it. I look up to see a machine. It beeps steadily.

I see his eyes open revealing his beautiful clear irises. I find myself smiling. I stroke a strand of hair from his eyes.

"Peeta." I whisper. He looks extremely confused. He sits up slightly letting my hand fall and looks at me. I don't see love.

"I'm sorry," he says clearing his throat. "Do I know you?"


	17. Chapter 17

This is a different type of pain. Not the pain of loss, like when Peeta was taken from me. Not the pain of guilt, like refusing Gale. Not physical pain, like getting hit by a car. This pain is ten times worse. I feel my heart snap in half. Now I understand the excruciating pain of hearbreak. It's agonizing.

"I'm Katniss." I whimper. I look into those eyes. Those eyes that used to be so full of love. They hold the mist of confusion. What happened?

"Oh." He says looking down at his hands. "Nice to meet you."

I think that physically hurt. I force a smile.

"What happened?" he asks. "I don't remember anything." His eyes are so innocent. They bore into mine.

"I don't know." I say. My voice is shaking so hard that I can barely release the sentence.

He suddenly begins to look around like he has just noticed his surroundings.

"Where am I?" he looks so scared so I grab his hand. He looks down at our hands and just stares at it. I rub my thumb in circles over it.

"Peeta." I begin but he looks up at me with such confusion.

"Who?" he says quietly. It's barely audible. I grab his hand with both of mine.

"You are Peeta Mellark. You are 19 years old. You go to the University of Panem." I rattle of the list but he puts up his hand, stopping me. A tear rolls down his cheek and he shuts his eyes.

The door flings open. A person in white barges in and looks at me accusingly.

"I'm sorry you have to leave now, Ms. Everdeen." I look to the door and look to Peeta. The shell of what he used to be and I nod. Just as I'm about to walk out the door someone calls me.

"Katniss." It's Peeta. Even him calling my name makes a tear roll down my cheek. "Bye." He smiles. It doesn't reach his eyes, it's full of sadness. I have to run out the door because I don't want him to see me cry. I sink to the ground and put my face in my hands. Sobs rack my being.

He's gone. My Peeta is gone and it hurts so bad. The memories that we cherished are gone. I'm dead to him. I'm just a stranger. My words mean nothing to him.

I need someone to hold me and make me feel better but the only person who could have done that for me is Peeta.

I can't sit here anymore so I walk out the door, away from the hospital. Away from Peeta. I walk aimlessly. I don't know where I'm going until I'm there. The Meadow.

I can almost see the memories. I can hear the laughter of our former selves. I can feel the happiness. I close my eyes and imagine I'm the little Katniss Everdeen. So incredibly happy with this sweet, blue eyed boy. Maybe he's still in there, deep down. There might still be hope. There might still be the little boy that I fell inlove with. I will stay by his side even if he will never recognise me for what I was to him. I will be there for him even if he never loves me because he's bound to be in there somewhere.

000000000000000000

I walk back into the hospital to see Thresh and Madge looking extremely worried. When they see me they glance at eachother. Madge comes up to me and hugs me tight. I don't respond because I know se can't make me feel better. Thresh just squeezes my hand.

"What happened?" I ask, keeping my voice strong.

"We're not too sure but he was…" Madge looks away with a tears coming from her eyes.

"Tortured." Thresh says. This sucks the life out of me. I clench my hands so tight they begin hurt, but I don't care.

"How?' I choke.

"Electrocuted." Thresh replies, his voice has gotten significently lower. All I can think is the key. That cruel key. I feel like screaming but I know I can't in this place so I just sit down on an uncomfortable chair and stare off into nothingness. I don't think I just focus on my breathing. All I want to do is escape.

"When can we see him?" I ask after a long silence.

"Soon." Madge says sitting beside me.

So we wait.

After what feels like days a man in white comes up to us.

"You are here for Peeta?" he asks. His voice is low and calming. We all nod solemnly.

"I'm Cinna, his doctor." He smiles warmly and I decide that I like him. "Peeta is suffering from memory loss. He has forgotton everything in his past. He can remember everthing from now but he has no idea who he is. There could be a chance that some memories will come back but it is very slim." He explains. "If you would like to see him then he is ready, but maybe one at a time. It could be quite overwhelming for him."

Just then a woman walks in the door. She has spiky, short brown hair and a slender figure.

"Do you know where Peeta Mellark is?" she asks Cinna.

She knows him? I think.

"Yes," he replies. "Do you know the situation?"

"I saved him, god dammit!" she shouts. This silences us all. She saved him?

I feel my mouth go wide open. She looks at us.

"I guess I need an explanation," she says ass she rolls her eyes. "I heard him scream and I came running. When I saw him through the glass in an electric chair I rung the police. They came and took him but Snow, the guy who was doing this, got away." She says this matter of factly. She did well trying to hide her emotions but a tear escapes her big hazel eyes.

We all look at her in shock. Processing the information.

"Can I see him or are you all just gonna stare at me." She says. Cinna snaps into action and leads us to Room 23.

The woman goes first. I stand against the wall. What will I say? What will he say? Will he ever remember me? While I'm thinking Cinna calls me. I peek my head through the door.

He sits upright and is staring at his hands. I walk in and shut the door. The click makes him look up at me.

"Hello Katniss." He mutters. His face is red and blotchy. I sit in the chair next to him. We look at eachother. He has dark bags underneath his eyes and he looks weary.

"Who am I?" he asks after a long pause. "I mean, am I a good person?"

"Peeta, you are the best person I know." I whisper. He smiles and it makes my heart melt. "You always pushed through the darkness, never let people bring you down." There is so much more I wanted to say but I can't. Silent tears flow. He takes my hand and rubs his thumb over it. Like I did before. I laugh a short, breathy laugh and he smiles. A big grin and I see him. The Peeta that I love and I know even if this might be the most difficult thing I will endure it will be worth it, because he's still there.


	18. Chapter 18

Peeta Mellark. That is my name. I am a good person. That is all I know.

I feel like I am just hollow. Nothing inside me. But I don't let it show because nothing brings Peeta Mellark down. I feel like a stranger to him.

Sometimes when I look at something I get a feeling that I remember, and a memory nearly comes back. Especially with Katniss. She makes me feel like something is bubbling in the pit of my stomach. I like it. I like her. I like the way her hair flows over her shoulder. I like the way she smiles. And I like the way she takes my hand.

I want to go somewhere. Anywhere but here. This room makes me feel like I'm trapped and I know that feeling feels familiar.

I stay awake all night trying to catch a memory that keeps slipping through my fingers. I know that memory made me feel happy somehow. I sigh and sink back into my bed. I go over the things that I know.

My name is Peeta Mellark. I am 19 years old. I go to the University of Panem. I am a good person. I like the way Katniss holds my hand.

Cinna told me to go over the things I know in my head and maybe something will come back to me.

I see sunlight creep in the window. I slip out of bed to open the blinds but when I begin to stand I wobble and fall. My elbow breaks my fall but it stings with pain. I hear the door open and I groan inwardly, knowing what a fuss they will make over this.

I hear a gasp and I recognise it. Suddenly a memory comes back.

I'm sitting outside a house. I'm in pain. So much pain. My face is in my hands and I'm weeping. Then I hear a gasp, the same gasp as right now. I look up to see a girl. I pretty girl coming towards me. She asks me who did this but I don't want to tell her about my mother. The witch.

That's all I can remember.

I flip back to reality. I see Katniss looking worried. She has my face cupped in her hands and I like it.

"Jesus Christ," he exclaims. "You gave me a fright!"

"Sorry," I say. I genuinely feel sorry. The last thing I want to do is inflicct anything bad on her. "I just got a memory." Her eyes widen and she grins. My heart skips a beat. I didn't think she could get anymore beautiful.

"What was it?" she asks. She sits infront of me eagerly waiting for an answer.

"I was outside a house and I was crying. I saw this pretty girl come towards me and I didn't want to tell her about my mother."

A mix of emotions play across her face.

"I was the little girl." She says. The corners of her mouth tilt up. "I remember running to your screams. I knew I had to get to you." She averts her gaze and her eyes glisten with tears. I hate it. I hate seeing her like this. I want to make her feel better. So I reach over and pull her into me. Her head lays on my chest and my arms wrap around her shoulders. It feels so right. This moment is perfect. I almost feel like Peeta Mellark so I cling onto her tighter. I feel her shake slightly. I look down and see her crying. I hate it.

"I'm sorry." I whisper into her hair. She jerks back and looks at me in disbelief. "I'm sorry for making you feel like this."

Again I can't decipher the emotions that play across her face. She just shakes her head and laughs slightly. She leans in to hug me again.

'Tell me about Peeta." I ask. I want to know about him. She pulls back from the hug and I immediately regret this decision. I miss the warmth of her. I miss that feeling bubbling in my chest.

"What do you want to know?" She begins to play with her hands and I want to hold them in mine. So I do. I like it.

"What does he look like?" I havn't seen myself before and I'm curious. She looks at me and smiles.

"You should get a mirror." She laughs.

"Do I need one?" I suddenly feel normal. Like an average person. She laughs again and I like it. No, I love it.

"Okay," she says and she sits infront of me again. "You have blonde hair," she ruffles the top of my head. I chuckle. "Blue eyes." Her gray eyes bore into mine and I feel like I recognise them. "Slightly chapped lips." She brings her finger up and trances them. I feel tingly all over. She lifts her hand and begins tracing the side of my face. She comes up to my ear and I place my hand over hers. This feels so familiar, being with her. Never wanting to let go.

"Tell me about us." I say. I need to know. She suddenly looks uncomfortably. "I don't mind." I assure her. She sits beside me again releasing her hand from mine.

"It's complicated." She says.

"I can handle it." I'm not sure if I can but I'm desperate to know about this girl. She takes a deep breath and looks ahead of her.

"When we were children we were friends in school. We were five or six years old. We were best friends" She looks at me and smiles. I envy her for remembering those memories and I look away.

"I don't know if I should be saying this." She says, beginning to stand up but I grab her hand.

"Please," I say. "I need to know." She's standing up now.

"We should get you back up." She's about to pull me up but I don't want to. There is something safe about this place.

"No." I say firmly. "I like it here."

Just then the door opens. Venia, my nurse saunters in. Her eyes widen and she yelps.

"Peeta!" she shrieks. "What on earth?" She storms over and lifts me on top of my bed. She realises Katniss is there and she puts on a smile.

"Hello, hello, hello!" she says. "Who is this?" she says, her voice lowering and highering in different places.

"This is Katniss." I say. I glance at her and she is looking in horror at her blue hair. She clears her throat and smiles.

"Hi." She lifts her hand in an awkward wave and it's as if I have just slammed to the ground.

I remember something.

A tall, handsome man glaring at someone beside me. It's Katniss. I feel terrified and another feeling is so distinct. So strong. It feels like I'm floating. Like my heart is bursting. I like it.

"Hi." I say as I lift my hand in an awkward wave. He glares at me.

"This is your boyfriend?" he asks Katniss. He looks so angry and I don't know why. "KATNISS, IS THIS YOUR BOYFRIEND?" he's shouting now. She nods. "Do you love him?" he asks quieter. She nods.

The memory is over. I feel strange. I like the feeling of the memory I just don't like the content. The only thing I got from that is. She loves me. I feel myself smiling.

Venia is infront of my face.

"Dear lord!" she exclaims clutching her heart. "Peeta!" she pats my face. "What in God's name happened!" Her voice is so highpitched it hurts my ears.

"I got a memory." I say this quietly. I don't think I want to say it just yet.

Venia jumps up and squeals.

"What was it?" she asks.

"Just…" I look up at Katniss. She silently urges me to continue but I can't. I'm so absorbed in those eyes.

She loved me, but did Peeta love her?


	19. Chapter 19

I sit up in bed and look out the window. Outside is a car park. There are 52 cars. I counted. What else am I meant to do in this place?

I lie back down on my hard, uncomfortable bed and think. I think about her. Katniss. like way she makes me feel like Peeta Mellark. I llike everything about her.

The door burst open. It's Flavius. His orange hair glints in the light coming in from the window. His choice of hair colour is so bright it almost stings my eyes.

"Time to move you into recovery." He says cheerfully. "We're gonna have to but you in this wheelchair if you don't mind, Mr. Mellark. Or should I call you Peeta."

I feel a shiver go down my spine as I remember something.

I'm walking down a hallway, absulutely petrifyed. I come to a door. And from inside it a booming voice calls me.

"Come in Mr. Mellark." I open the door and a man stands there. He has white hair and a white beard. His eyes look like slits and he looks like a poisonous snake.

Then it's over. I take deep breaths and close my eyes. I did not like that memory. Not in the least.

Flavius has his eyes open wide and his mouth is hanging open. When I open my eyes again he takes an exaggerated breath.

"Let's get you in this wheelchair, shall we Mr. Me-"

"Call me Peeta." I say abruptly, cutting him off. He beams.

"Alrighty then, _Peeta_." He says as I climb into the wheelchair. He pushes me down the hallway and I feel like a puppet. People telling me what to do. People bringing me places.

He pushes me into a room. It's the exact same as my other room except the window shows a forest in the distance and a meadow.

A memory.

I play with the pretty girls hair and I have that feeling again and I never want it to go away.

"I wish I could freeze this moment right here, right now and live in it forever." I say and I look down at the pretty girl and in that moment I know I love the girl so much my heart might burst.

"Okay."

It's over and I know the Meadow will bring me happy memories.

Cinna walks in and sits beside me.

"What time is it?" I ask because I like being certain of something.

"Eight o'clock in the morning." He replies. "Here, have my watch." He hands me his watch. It has a leather strap. I like it.

"Thank you." I say, and I smile up at him.

"Now, Peeta." He says. "Tell me about yourself." He puts down his clipboard and looks at me. He looks like he's genuinely interested so I want to tell him.

"My name is Peeta Mellark. I am 19 years old. I go to the University of Panem. I like the way Katniss holds my hand. I like the way she makes me feel, like butterflies bursting from my stomach. I like the way she laughs. I hate it when she cries. I hate the snake. I love…" I stop because I don't know if I love her. I did but do I now? "I hate not knowing."

"Very good." He says. "Have you gotten any memories?" I nod. "Would you like to share them?" I pause. Do I want to tell Cinna about these memories? I nod.

"The first one was I was sitting outside of my house and I was hurt and crying. Then the pretty girl came to me and asked me who did it this to me and didn't want to tel her it was my mother." He nods. I'm glad he's not writing it down. I don't want to tell him it's Katniss. I feel that's private.

"The next was I was with…" I'm not sure if I want to tell him this. "I was with a woman and a man was there. He was shouting at the woman asking if I was her boyfriend and she nods. He asks her if she loves me and… and she nods." I feel happy all over again and I can't help a small smile creep it's way onto my lips.

"Then I'm in the Meadow and I'm playing with the pretty girl's hair. I tell her 'I want to freeze this moment, right here right now and live in it forever.' And she says 'Okay.' And I know that I love this girl." Cinna nods and smiles.

"Then I'm walking down a hallway and I reach a door. Someone calls me in and I see a man, he looks like a snake."

I can't continue that memory. It makes me shiver in fear.

"Your progress is exceptional, Peeta. I didn't expect you to remember this much, ever, let alone a couple of days." He smiles and takes my hand. He pats it and lets it go. I know that that simple gesture will never be comforting by anyone apart from Katniss. My Katniss.

Where did 'my' come from. She's not mine. I shake the thought out of my head and listen to Cinna.

"I doubt that you will ever be able to remember everything, but if you keep up like this I think you will be able to remember quite a lot."

I smile as I know I will never be a stranger to myself. Even if I will never be the same I can always be a little bit of Peeta.

Cinna leaves me and I'm left alone with my thoughts and they always go back to one thing. Katniss.

I like her but do I love her? The confusion is so irritating and I hate it.

I look out the window to the Meadow. I see a tiny figure. I think it's a woman. She walks along until she sits down. After a while, she lies down and stares at the sky. I follow her gaze and look at the clouds. I want to get closer so I fling my legs over the side.

I will not fall this time, I tell myself as I pull myself to my feet. I wobble precariously to the windowsill. I lift myself up on it and lean against the wall. I look at the sky then at the woman. I can see her better now. She has dark hair and even from here I can tell she is beautiful. Then it hits me. The beautiful woman is Katniss.

She sits up and I could swear she's looking at me. Looking through me. I don't realise what I'm doing until I'm doing it. I wave. A feeble wave. I can almost see her laughing as she lifts her hand in a wave as well. I find myself laughing too. It bubbles up within me and it is realeased. The feeling inside me is so strong and familiar. It makes me feel happy. It makes me smile and I realise that's what Katniss does. She keeps me smiling.

Suddenly she leaps up and rushes through the Meadow. I watch her braid flow behind her and I like it. I watch her disappear from view and I all I want to do is see her again.

I stare up at the sky watching the clouds form shapes above me. I don't know how long I sit like this until I hear footsteps approaching. The door opens and Katniss walks in. I don't bother trying to hide my smile. We look at eachother for a second before we burst out laughing. She shuts the door and comes towards me.

"Is there enough room?" she asks.

"Yeah." I say as I bring my legs into me. She climb in and sits opposite me. She looks to the room and grabs the curtains. I do the same until we are in our own space. Just me and Katniss. I like it.

After a while I speak.

"Tell me your happiest memory." I say. "Please?" She laughs a short laugh and we look at eachother for a bit. I look deep into those gray eyes that I know and I realise something.

"I know you." I say, in a low whisper. "I know your eyes." I try to dig deeper. I want to find something else that I know. I want to know her. "I know your smile." I reach over and touch the corner of her lip. She turns it into a smile and I close my eyes as I feel the smile on my finger. Her face is inprinted in my mind. I open my eyes and she's so much closer. She leans her forehead against mine. "I know this." I say. As if on instinct I wrap my arms around her shoulders. I feel I need to say something but I just can't remember what.


	20. Chapter 20

We sit like this in our lair for what feels like seconds until we hear footsteps.

"Should we move?" I whisper. He just shakes his head and I'm glad. I want to stay. I never want to let go so I move in closer. I feel him smile. This is all that I could of hoped for. He knows me. I don't know if he remembers what we did together but I don't care. He is making up to be Peeta Mellark again, piece by piece, memory by memory.

We hear the door open and we look at eachother with wide eyes.

"Peeta?" the person asks in a high pitched tone. We hear the person shuffle about the room until we hear movement right beside the curtain.

I feel the laughter trickling up my throat. I can't stop it.

Peeta puts his hand over my mouth. The laughter quickly subsides and it is replaced by a small smile. He drops his hand but I don't want him to. I want him close.

"PEETA." The person shrieks. I can see his eyes light up with up coming laughter. I put my hand gently over his mouth.

I find his eyes. They look into mine. Deeper then ever and I see a click of recognition. He still looks at me but it's a blank stare. I drop my hand.

I know this is a memory so I wait.

The person leaves. I hear her shriek Peeta's name and her clattering around the hallways.

His eyes reach mine again and he looks extremely confused. I hate seeing him like this.

"What was it?" I whisper. He looks at me, searching for something. He grabs my hand. I draw circles of over them with my thumb. He smiles.

"You don't have to tell me." I say after a while. He shakes his head.

"I was in an office with…" he looks down and I gently lift his chin up so his eyes look at me again. "with the snake."

I know who the snake is. President Snow. I feel my insides squirming with hatred. He did this to Peeta.

"He was asking me for a key an I didn't want to give it to him." He looks so distressed. I wish I could help him. I reach up and brush the hair from his forehead.

"You didn't tell me what your happiest memory was." He says. I smile remembering the previous events of the day. He knows me.

"When we were young we would go to that Meadow everyday after school." I say pointing over to the Meadow. He closes his eyes. "To be honest everyday of that was my happiest memory." He smiles a little. "But one day was the best. We were looking up in the clouds you spotted something. You said it was a monkey but I couldn't find it then you said it was right beside me and you began tickling me. I don't think I ever laughed so hard." He chuckles sightly with his eyes still closed. "We had a tickle fight. And afterwards we just sat together."

He opens his eyes and smiles. That smile. I feel so overjoyed. I do it on instinct without thinking it over. I kiss him on the cheek. I feel warm all over and I just hover over the place where my lips touched him.

I immediately regret it. It was too soon. I'm about to apologise when he smiles. A bigger smile. Like that day after the funeral.

"Katniss," he asks. Lacing his hands through mine. "Do you..." he struggles. "Never mind."

His eyes trail along my face until he drags me into him. I lean my back against his chest and my head lies on his shoulder. His arms are around my waist. These are the moments when I feel like he's the missing puzzle piece. I wish life was as easy as a simple jigsaw puzzle. If it was then he would never leave my sight.

"Tell me more." He says. I want to say that you loved me but it's too soon. Too soon.

"You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces." I focus on his hands holding me against him. These tiny gestures makes me think maybe he loves me too. But I push the thoughts away. He couldn't. I want to scream to him. I want to scream at the top of my lungs that I love him. I love him. I love him.

"What does Peeta think about you?" he asks. Peeta loves me.

"You tell me." I say. He is silent for a while.

"He likes the way your eyes sparkle. He likes the way your hair falls over your shoulder. He likes your smile and your laugh and the way they make him want to smile. He likes the way you lean your head against his chest. He likes the way you hold my hand. He likes the way you make him feel like bubbles are rising in his stomach. He likes the way you dress, the way you speak and the way you look at him. You don't look at him with sympathy you look at him with hope."

I don't know what to say. I don't know how to breath.

"What does Katniss think about Peeta." He asks quietly. I look up to him to see that his cheeks are slightly red. I reach up and brush my hand against his soft skin. He takes it in his again.

"She likes the way your nose crinkles when you smile. She likes the way your hair falls infront of your forehead. She likes the way your eyes are so clear. She likes the way you snore slightly in your sleep. She likes the way I can hear the laughter bubbling in your throat and when it is released I makes her want to laugh with you. I like our memories together. Peeta, she likes everything about you." I finish in a whisper. I feel I need to say it. It's eating up inside me. "I love you." I look up at him now. His face shows something else, not confusion.

"I think I might love you too."

**I just wanted to say that you know how I said there might be another 5 chapters left… never mind. There is probably going to be a load more. **

**Epilogue? **

**And please review:)**


	21. Chapter 21

Once I said it I was certain. I love her. I love Katniss. Suddenly it comes into my head. Everdeen. Katniss Everdeen.

I take her face gently in my hands and press my forehead to hers.

"No, I definitely love you, Katniss Everdeen." I whisper. She lifts her head and her nose brushes against mine slightly. We lean into eachother slowly. Centimetre by centimetre until we are hovering over eachothers lips. I'm not nervous. I'm not scared. This feels so right.

"You havn't changed one bit." She whispers. Her breath tickles me and I smile. I havn't changed.

"I'm still Peeta?" I ask. She nods and looks down at the tiny space between us. I don't want it to be there.

Suddenly the door opens.

"Peeta," It's Cinna. He pauses. "I know you're behind that curtain." We freeze and we hear him coming closer. I look at our position. We are so close. He can't see us like this.

"Wait." I say. "Don't open the curtains."

"And why shouldn't I?" Cinna asks impatiently.

"Because…" I struggle for words. "Because I'm… I'm… I'm naked!" I exclaim. I look at Katniss and she is trying hard not to laugh. "Just give me fifteen minutes, okay?" I say.

"Oh," Cinna says. "I'm sorry, I'll just… erm… leave then." We hear him rush out the door. Once we can't hear his footsteps we burst out laughing. Katniss clutches her stomach and I lean against the wall trying to catch my breath.

"Okay we have fifteen minutes." I say.

"I don't think he will be coming back soon." Katniss chuckles. I just shake my head. I lean in and kiss her forehead. I don't want to move. So I stay like this. My lips softly pressed to her skin. She smells like flowers. I like it. I love it. I love her.

"I should go," Katniss says. "He can't see that I was here, I'll come back later. I need to see Prim."

"Your sister." I say. I don't know how I knew that. She nods and smiles so wide I can see all her perfect teeth.

"I'll see you soon." She says as she jumps off the ledge. She pulls the curtains back and turns to leave but I don't want her to so I grab her hand. She turns back around and a smile plays across her lips. She walks closer and stands on her tip toes. She presses her lips to my cheek. Warmth spreads from the spot. I close my eyes, savouring the sensation.

"Bye." Katniss says as she begins to walk away.

"Bye." I reply. I watch her braid sway as she walks.

I love her.

I slide from the ledge and walk to my bed. I feel stronger even though I practically fall onto the bed. I feel lighter even though the burden of confusion still lies on my shoulders but it doesn't matter. I know something for sure, I love Katniss Everdeen.

There is a knock on the door.

"Come in." I say. I realise that I'm still smiling. I don't bother wiping it off my face.

Cinna pokes his head through the crack of the door.

"I'm descent." I say. I laugh but it's not about Cinna's precaution I just wanted to let out the butterflies that were rising in my throat.

"Okay," Cinna says and he sits down on the chair. "I just wanted to say that you will be ready to leave in about two days."

I smile. I'm going to leave. I will be free.

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When Cinna left I don't have to wait long until Katniss comes back.

She strides in and plops herself on the chair. She is still smiling. I pat a space beside me on the bed and she leaps up without hesitation and lies beside me. It still doesn't feel right so I gently pull her in closer. She lays her head on my chest and her arms around my neck. I put my arms around her small waist and head on her shoulder. This feels right.

We sit here in comfortable silence and I feel like Peeta Mellark again. I feel whole. Katniss is what I was missing. She wasn't a missing piece of my memory she was a missing piece of my heart.

I feel my eyes drooping. I try to keep them open but my eyelids are too heavy. I just let my mind go blank and let sleep take me unde it's spell.

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The sunlight streaming in the window force my eyes open. I blink until my eyes adjust to the light and I look at my surroundings. I see Katniss huddled againts me and the memories of yesterday come back to me. I feel my lips turn up in a smile and a tighten my grip and bring myself closer.

She looks so much younger in her sleep. Almost like the little girl I my memories. This doesn't feel like a nightmare anymore. With Katniss I feel safe.

I love her.

I place my head back on the pillow and shut my eyes.

I'm sitting in a chair. It's so rigid and hard and my back shivers when I lean against it. I hear a sizzle and a zap. The pain is blinding and I cripple over. My body shivers.

The sizzle is coming again. I cry out and my legs grow weak. I can't breath. My heart can't beat. I try to remember the feeling of love but it's slipping away with all my memories.

Zap.

And I wake up. Katniss has awoken and she has my face in her hands. I can hear the sizzle coming closer. I curl up in a ball. I'm not ready for the pain. I hear it coming closer and closer. I shiver in fear. The pain is still racing through my body. I let a cry escape me. I feel tears run down my cheeks and it drips onto my hands. I tuck my head into my knees. It's coming. I feel her warm hands on my back. I stop wimpering. She comes infront of me and leans her forehead against mine. Her arms wrap around my shoulders. She whispers 'I love you.' Over and over again. It blocks out the sizzling. It kills the pain. It washes away my sea of tears. I let out a breath and close my eyes. I know this pain will come back and I know the only person who can comfort me is Katniss.

"Stay with me?" I croak.

"Always." She replies.


	22. Chapter 22

He is still shivering even when we are both underneath the duvet. He doesn't say anything, he's just looking at me. His blue eyes never trail away from mine.

I remember this morning. 'I definetly love you Katniss Everdeen.' I smile again and move closer. We fit arms arms around the places they are meant for but I don't want to bring my eyes away from his beautiful face. His blonde hair, his straight nose, his perfect jaw-line, his blue eyes. And his caring personality, the love that he has that never falters even when he has been through so much. He is perfect in every single way. Nothing about him is wrong or could be improved. Every second I spend with him makes me love him more. I don't deserve this.

He brings his hand up and begins stroking my cheek. He comes closer and kisses my forehead. My cheeks. My nose intil he is hovering over my lips.

We hear footsteps again and before we can react the door flings open. A woman with sickly green skin stands in the door with her mouth wide open. I don't want to move and I don't care who sees us so I tuck my head into his chest again. His arms tighten around me.

"I was… um… just coming to tell you should start packing." She rushes from the door and shuts it tight behind her. He chuckles.

"You're leaving?" I ask.

"Yeah," his voice is still hoarse from his screams. "Tomorrow actually."

"Where are you staying?"

"I don't know." His voice is lower now.

"You can stay with us." I say looking up at him.

"No," he says shaking his head. "I couldn't."

"Mother is in District 2 on a job, we have a spare room." I 'm determined for him to stay. I'm not letting him out of my sight this time. "I'll stay at home with you."

He doesn't look sure.

"Where else are you supposed to go?" I say. My eyes pleading for him to stay. His eyes soften.

"Okay."

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I had to leave to get the house ready. I try not to skip down the hallway.

I drive home and rush in the door. Prim is lying on the couch flicking through channels.

"Prim," I say. She grunts. "I need to tell you something."

"Yup." She pops the 'p'.

"Look at me." She sits up and switches off the television.

"Do you know Peeta Mellark?" I ask.

"No." I sigh.

"Okay." I tell her the story of me and Peeta. Leaving out the key.

"And he is going to stay with us."

Prim's mouth is wide open. I hope she took it this the right way. She squeals.

"I'm going to make him a cake." She exclaims jumping from her seat and rushing to the counter. I laugh in relief.

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Peeta walks out of the hospital holding a tiny rucksack. He rubs the back of his neck looking around. I leap out of my jeep and rush towards him. I take his hand and lead him to the car.

Before I open the door he takes both of my hands and looks down at me.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks.

"I'm sure." I say as I jump into the car. We drive down the road and I switch on the radio.

It's Coldplay, The Scientist.

"I like this song." Peeta says as he closes his eyes. "I remember it."

I listen to the lyrics.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry _

_You don't know how lovely you are _

_I had to find you, tell you I need you _

_Tell you I set you apart._

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions _

_Oh, let's go back to the start _

_Running in circles, coming up tails _

_Heads on a science apart._

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part _

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_Oh, take me back to the start._

The chorus is like the story of me and Peetas relationship. Love is hard. If I could go back to the start I would. I would do this differantly, if I could of stopped Snow or ripped the key from Peeta at the very beginning. Or maybe we could have run away in the first place.

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures _

_Pulling the puzzles apart _

_Questions of science, science and progress _

_Do not speak as loud as my heart_

_But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me _

_Oh and I rush to the start _

_Running in circles, chasing our tails _

_Coming back as we are._

I glance at Peeta. His eyes are closed. Is he thinking the same thing as me? Would he have gone beck to the start of all of this?

_Nobody said it was easy _

_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part _

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be so hard _

_I'm going back to the start_

The song ends and I switch off the radio. Maybe we are going back to the start. The start of where it all began. Maybe we can rewrite our past.

"I wish we could go back." I say. Peeta doesn't reply for a while.

"I don't know my full past, I know it was terrible but I don't care. I would live it all again because it brought me to you."

I don't have any words for that. It's overwhelming. Everything he went through he would do it again. For me.

We drive into the house and walk to the door.

"Thank you Katniss." He says as he kisses me on the cheek. We open the door to Prim and before Peeta can even walk in the door she flings herself into his arms. It takes him a second to process before he wraps her arms around her as well.

"Hello Prim." He says smiling. "It's nice to see you." He taps her on the nose and she grins. She takes him by the hand and brings him inside. The cake she laboured over the whole day lays on the table.

She sits him down and chatters away. I laugh as he's trying to keep up. She prances over to the sink and grabs a plate. I walk over and he smiles. It comes up to his eyes and his nose crinkles like it used to. Peeta is back.


	23. Chapter 23

TWO WEEK LATER.

"Peeta!" I shrill voice shrieked pulling me out of my deep slumber. I swing my legs over the side of my bed and stretch my limbs.

"Peeta, help!" the voice is more desperate. I rush out of the room and look around the house.

"PEETA!" I run upstairs to the sound of Prim's voice. I sprint into her room to see her standing on her bed pointing to the wall opposite her. She's shaking.

"Prim, what's wrong?" I ask looking over to where she is pointing.

"Spider!" she exclaims. I laugh and grab a tissue trapping the tiny spider and throwing it out the window. Prim sighs in relief sinking down on her bed.

"Sorry," she mutters "Did I wake you?"

"It's okay, Prim." I say sitting next to her.

"I really hate spiders." She says squirming.

"I know," I say reassuringly, "I know."

She lays her head against my shoulder and a put my arm around her.

"You're always really warm, Peeta." She says after a short pause. I laugh in response. "I'm glad you're staying here." She says. I smile fondly at the little girl beside me.

"I am too."

"C'mon." Prim says jumping from the bed. "Let's make cupcakes." She rushes down the stairs and I run after her. She squeals as I pick her up and fling her over my shoulder.

"Peeta!" she shouts in a fit of laughter. I place her down when we reach the kitchen and she its me on the arm. I clutch it, pretending it hurts.

"I don't think cupcakes for breakfast is a healthy option." I say as she begins pulling out the ingredients from the drawers.

"Please?" she says, widening her eyes. "Pretty please?" I sigh.

"Just this once." I say in defeat. She giggles and grabs the cookbook from the shelf. I take a bowl from underneath the counter when my phone vibrates from the table. I grin when I see it's from Katniss.

_Just wanted to remind you that I'm coming home tonight_

_K x_

Katniss had to go back to university after a week. I have a month off even though I feel more complete then I ever had with Prim and Katniss.

_I know, how could I forget? _

I press send and wait eagerly for a reply.

_You can be forgettable sometimes._

I laugh aloud earning a puzzled look from Prim.

_True, but I'm working on it._

Send.

_I better not find out that you are giving Prim cupcakes for breakfast again, by the way. _

I laugh slightly at how much she knows me.

"Prim," I say looking up at her. "We're caught."

I look at her bewildered face smeared in cupcake batter.

"We can eat them all." She says cheekily.

"Katniss can see right through us and you know it." Prim nods her head.

_We'll save you one. _

_Fine, but it better be chocolate. _

"We have a special request from ." I say walking towards the counter. I dip my finger in the batter and lick it. I rub my belly and Prim giggles.

"I think it needs more sugar." Prim says scooping a handful of sugar and dumping it in the bowl. We both taste it and the sweetness pangs against my tongue.

'That's sweet." Prim says. She shrugs and mixes it some more. We mix in chocolate and watch them rise in the oven.

The doorbell rings and Prim rushes to get it.

"Rory!" I hear her say with excitement. I remember that name.

"Rory!" Katniss exclaims. She looks incredibly nervous. I see a boy about Prim's age with dark hair and olive skin.

I remember the string of memories that followed from that day including Gale.

"Peeta." Prim says skipping into the kitchen. "The Hawthorne's are here." She grins as she reveals Rory and a very awkward looking Gale. I feel like jumping in a hole and staying there.

Rory recognises me and he winces looking at his brother. Gale's jaw tightens and his fists clench.

"We made cupcakes!" Prim grins and drags Rory to the oven. I can tell Rory is more interested in Prim's face then the cupcakes.

Gale clears his throat.

"Where's Katniss." He says without emotion.

"She's in university at the moment." I say. I smile, trying to lift the tension but it doesn't work. "She's coming back tonight."

Gale nods.

"C'mon Rory," he says, turning to leave. "We're going."

"Can I stay for a little while longer?" Rory asks.

It looks like Gale would rather be leaving then arguing so he shrugs his shoulders and slams the door. A wave of silence washes over the room until Prim leaps into her normal chit-chat.

"Do you guys know eachother?" Prim asks. Me and Rory look at eachother

"Yeah." Rory chuckles.

"How?' Prim asks, her eyes gleaming. I gulp, pleading with my eyes for Rory not to spill.

"We saw eachother in town once." I smile gratefully at him.

We hear a beep from the oven and Prim practically falls towards the oven and pulls down the lid. She slips on her oven mits and grabs the cupcakes. Rory smacks her hand away when she is about to take one out. I watch them interact with fondness, Prim is oblivious but I can tell Rory would walk through fire for this girl.

Suddenly Prim looks down at herself in shock.

"I'm in my pyjamas!" she exclaims. "I'm sorry I must look a mess." Rory just shakes his head.

"You look beautiful in anything." Prim smiles and Rory's cheeks grow red.

"I'm going to get changed." I say, feeling like I'm intruding. Prim looks over at me from behind Rory's shoulder.

I wink and she goes red in embarresment.

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I hear a click of a key slotting in the door.

"Hello?" Katniss says. Her voice is so sweet.

I run towards the door. Her eyes light up and I take her in my arms and without hesistation press my lips to hers. My heart flutters and sink into her embrace. This is the first time I remember doing this with her but it feels like I've done it a thousand times and I will do it a thousand times more.

**Please review!**


	24. Chapter 24

Seering pain racks my body. The witch towers over me, her eyes gleaming, mouth curled in a snarl. I let out a scream and close my eyes. When I open them the snake is there.

"Give me the key." He hisses. "Tell me where the cabinet is, I know you know where it is."

I know I knew where it was but I can't remember. But I can't tell him. I can't.

I close my eyes again and when I open them I'm in dark room. The sizzling is coming. Closer. Closer. Closer. It shoots up my body and I lift my head back. Trying to squirm away from the pain. I scream.

"Peeta." A soft voice whispers. "Wake up." A hand shakes me awake. I see Katniss. She doesn't say anything, she sits on the bed infront of my and inches closer and closer until her forehead rests against mine again. 'I love you.' She says over and over again as she wraps her arms around me. I feel so much safer. I don't deserve this.

"I couldn't go back to university," I whisper. I'm going back next week. "I'll wake up the whole building with my screams."

"You don't scream." Katniss says.

What? Everytime I'm having a bad night Katniss is always there to wake me up.

"How do you know when to come?"

"I just know." She says simply. "Like when you were… you know. I heard your screams in my head and I knew something was wrong. I don't know why."

I bring my hand up and touch her cheek. It's wet.

"Are you okay?" I ask. She nods. She is not okay. "What's wrong?" She turns her head away from me. The moonlight coming in from the cracks in the curtains light up the right side of her face. It's red and blotchy. She has been crying. I take her hand and bring her to the window. I crawl on top of the ledge and beckon her towards me. She climbs up and closes the curtain. We are in our lair again.

"Katniss," I say taking her hand. "You can tell me anything." I can see that she is weighing out her choices. To tell or not to tell.

"Peeta." She whispers. "If I tell you, you promise not to do anything. Alright?" I nod. "You promise?" she whimpers.

"Promise." I say.

"Snow came." I freeze. Everything freezes for a second. My breath. My heartbeat.

"He needs you to tell him something about a cabinet."

A memory.

My father hiding a cabinet inside the wall in a safe.

I shake my head. I don't know what is in that cabinet but I know that I can't give it to Snow.

"He told me that the cabinet will give him power."

A string of words flicker in my mind.

The Hunger Games. Children. Fight to the death.

I gasp. He wants the sick game.

Katniss is know staring off out the window. Looking at their back garden.

"We can't give it to him." I say desperately. "We can't tell him."

"I know," Katniss says gripping my hand tighter. She closes her eyes. There is something else she is not telling me.

"He knows that you know Peeta." She croaks. She knows something else.

"What did he say to you?" I say slowly. She shuts her eyes and a tear rolls down her cheek.

"I can't say." She whispers. I move closer taking her face in my hands. I search her eyes.

"Katniss," I say firmly. "You have to tell me." She pulls herself out of my grip moving away from me. "Katniss." I say desperately.

"Get away!" she says, her voice breaking. I stay silent and try to fish a memory that might tell me about what she is hiding. I slowly inch closer to her. She watches me with fearful eyes as I take her hand. I don't say anything I just rub my thumb in circles over her hand.

"I.. can't." she sniffles. I hate seeing her like this. I hate it. She looks so conflicted by her feelings.

"It's okay." I say soothingly. She pushes my away abruptly, moving back towards the wall.

"Why do you have to be so nice to me?" She says.

"Katniss," I say in disbelief. "I love you." I look at the small space between us. It feels like miles. She puts her head in her hands. I sigh in frustration and run my hands through my hair.

She is shaking. I can't see her face.

"Why can't you tell me?"

"Because if I say you will tell him." She whispers. It's barely audible.

"Don't push me away." I say as I move closer.

"Don't! You will make me say it."

I don't stop moving closer. I only stop when my forehead is touching hers.

"Katniss," I whisper. "You don't have to tell me, but I do need to know." I bring up my hand and stroke her cheek, "Let me help you."

She stays silent and links her hand through mine. Her other hand reaches up and takes a fistful of the t-shirt that I am wearing. She needs something to hold onto. We breath in unison like a silent communication. She cries softly and it hurts. Each tear is like a painful pang in my heart. I wipe each tear away put they keep on coming. I ift my forehead away slightly. Another tear falls and press my lips gently to the spot. I do the same with each tear and they slowly cease. She wraps her arms tightly around my neck.

"Peeta," she whispers. "If you don't tell him he's is going to take me..

I snap my head up.

"Hide me and torture me and if you stil don't tell me he will kill me."

I can't hear this anymore.

"Peeta," she says desperately. "Don't tell him. You can't."

I shake my head. What is life without Katniss?

"Peeta." She cries. "I shouldn't have told you."

"I need to tell him," I say. "Or else he will find other way to manipulate me and the people I love."

Katniss just grabs me by the shoulders.

"You promised."

I don't have a chance to reply because we both end up running to the sound of Prim calling helplessly for us. And I know it's not a spider.


	25. Chapter 25

"Prim!" Katniss shrieks.

Silence.

We rush to the door and see a car rolling away in the distance at top speed. We run out the door and to Katniss's car.

"PRIM!" she shouts. We jump in the car and speed of in the direction of where the car went. Katniss is shouting for Prim's name but I know it's futile.

We speed around a corner and we see no cars down the long road. Katniss pulls over onto the side of the road and jumps out the car. She falls to the ground and screams into the dirt.

I rush over and pick her up into my arms. I lay her on my lap as she scream into my chest.

I know what I have to do and I have to do it soon.

"Prim, Prim, Prim." She whimpers into my chest. I stroke her hair and let a tear roll down my cheek.

This is all my god damn fault. Poor, innocent Prim. I look down at Katniss. She is in no state to move but I have to hurry.

"Katniss," I whisper. She doesn't reply. "Katniss, I need to tell him." She still doesn't reply. I lift her up and she turns in towards me, shivering.

'Prim, Prim, Prim." She whispers over and over.

I loath myself for doing this to them. They do not deserve this.

I put her in the back seat of the car and fasten her seatbelt. I lay her across the back of the car and tuck her up in a blanket. I kiss the top of her head because that could be the last time I get to.

I get in the driver's seat. I try not to swerve out of control from shaking.

Prim. What could they be doing to sweet Prim?

I drive into the house and take Katniss in my arms. She is still murmering Prim over and over.

How could she ever forgive me for what I have done to her Prim?

I place Katniss on my bed. She curls up in a ball, tucking her knees up to her chest. I savour this moment. I touch her hair. This makes her stir.

"Peeta." She croaks. I sit next to her on the bed.

"Stay with me?" she whispers.

I know the answer, but I can't lie to Katniss.

"Always in our memories." I reply. Katniss's breathing has slowed and I know she has fallen asleep. I creep out the door, my imagings of Prim guiding me.

I come to the door and notice an envolope at me feet.

Mr. Mellark.

I pick it up with quivering hands and rip it open.

_Dear Mr. Mellark,_

_In case you didn't get my message I wanted to inform you that I will not hesitate into fufilling my promises. Little is in my care and you very well know that I won't resist her protests until you give me the information I know you possess. _

_Come to my office with the information in approximately 24 hours or I will take the other Ms. Everdeen. _

_Best wishes, _

_President Snow. _

I drop the letter at my feet. Hearbeat pounding in my head. I sprint out the door to find the dreadful information. Where is it?

I know it's in that house. Where is it?

Then I see it.

Mellarks Bakery.

The impact of the memories make me stumble to the ground.

All the beatings. The stinging on my arm. It feels so real.

It takes all my courage to knock on the door. I hear footsteps clambering down. Then I see it. The thing that had been haunting my nightmares. Wrinkles have formd at the corners of its cold, blue eyes.

"Peeta?" it asks. I nod. She reaches for my hand but I jerk it away.

"I need to get something." I mutter barging in the door. I feel like I'm choking but all I have to think is Prim and I keep walking through the witches caste. I don't know where to go but when I see the room I know exactly what to do. I walk in shuting the door behind me.

I slide my hands down the bookcase. Dust builds up on my fingers turning the flesh gray. Like her eyes. I stifle a sob.

It's for the best, I tell myself. The cheesy line rings in my head.

If you love her let her go.

I love her with all my being but if me being with means this then I couldn't fo that to her.

My finger presses at button disguised in the wooden surface and the wall opens revealing the safe. Then the file.

The file. I can't give it to him.

Prim. Katniss.

He will kill everyone in these wicked games.

Prim. Katniss.

I take a deep breath and take the files. I want to rip them up into a million pieces but I couldn't. The two people I love the most are at stake.

I rush out the door and a shiver runs down my spine as I pass the bewildered witch. My mother. I want to gag.

I leap into my car but I hesitate. What would Katniss think if I just disappear. I walk bck into the house and grab a piece of paper and a pen.

_Dear Katniss, _

_I don't know if I will ever be able to see your beautiful face ever again. I can't do this to you or Prim. I am sorry. Even if I make it out alive I don't want you to be in danger. And you will be if you're in my presence.. I hope that fate might brings us back together again. Don't let me stop you from loving because you deserve so much better then me. _

_I love you will every inch of my heart and I'm always in your memories._

_Peeta. _


	26. Chapter 26

The cold gush of wind hits me as I step in my car. I take a deep breath as I rev the engine. The choice has been made, I tell myself.

Prim or the Hunger Games.

"The choice has been made." I say aloud. I don't know how I got there but I find myself rolling down a diveway that I remember and looking at a building that makes me want to run and hide.

As I walk into the building I feel like the sizzling is coming closer and closer. I am coming closer and closer to doom.

"Come in, Mr. Mellark." The voice that haunts my nightmares says. I want to scream and run but no.

Prim.

I grip tighter on the file and walk into it's office. His eyes gleam as he catches sight of the file.

"Nice for you to show up." He flashes a smile that make my insides squirm.

"Where's Prim." I demand, willing my voice not to shake. He snaps his fingers and a door bursts open. Two bulky men hold Prim by her arms. My heart clenches as I see her. Her face red from tears. It looks like she is unharmed though. I rush over to her and pry the hands off her frail arms. I gather her up in my arms and stroke her hair. She grips me so tightly like she is afraid I'm going to leave herhere She sobs softly on my t-shirt.

"I thought you weren't going to come." She cries.

"Shh, shh." I sooth, kissing the top of her head.

"I need the files please, ." the snake hisses. I glance down at the files in my hand. The files that decide the fate of this world.

There is no escape.

I shakily hand over the files into his hands.

"Thank you Mr. Mellark." He says. His chest bulges and his eyes widen with pride. He lifts up the files into the light, checking if it's real. "It has been a pleasure working with you." He reaches out to shake my hand but I move away. "I'll see you soon."

I back away from him with Prim clutching my hand and we run out the door. There is no need but I don't want to spend another second in this place.

I'll see you soon. His words echoe in my mind.

What have I done?

We slip into the car. Prim is still sobbing. I place her in the back seat.

"Prim," I say. "Nothing is going to harm you, okay?" I say. But it's a lie. Everything can harm this innocent girl. The Hunger Games.

I drive back down to their house. I'll see you soon is still constantly playing over in my head.

I stop the engine and sit there for a second and listen to the sounds. Prims continuous breaths, the wind blowing through the trees and the morning birds chirping happily. I wish I was a bird. No responsibilities, no consequence. I could soar though my days oblivious to the nightmares below me.

I scoop Prim up in my arms and walk into the house quietly. I look to my right where I left the note, it's gone. Katniss is awake. Even thinking her name hurts.

I creep up the stairs and place Prim her bed. I walk out the door with silent tears rolling rapidly down my cheeks.

I need to leave.

I run down the stairs and just as I'm about to flee from the house a voice stops me. A voice that makes my heart melt.

"Peeta." I slowly turn around to see Katniss standing there. Her hair is up in a messy ponytail and her face is glistening with tears. "Don't go." We stay in our positions.

"I have to." I whisper. She shakes her head with tears spilling from her gray eyes. Her lip is quivering.

I feel like I have a tennis ball jammed down my throat.

"You don't." she cries. "How many times have we been ripped apart?"

I can't answer. I have to leave but I can't bring myself to move.

"How many times has my heart been ripped to shreads because of you?"

I close my eyes.

"How many times do we have to this this Peeta?" her voice is a whisper. A whisper of hope.

"I love you." I say. I want to touch her hair, carress her cheek and kiss her one last time but I know if I do that I won't ever be able to let go so I walk out the door. Closing it behind me. Shutting off love, shutting off happiness.

I take one last look at the house and drive away.


	27. Chapter 27

He shuts the door. I would run out and force him back in here but I find that I am frozen. I struggle for breath. I sink down to the ground and lean against the wall. I need someone to hold me and make me feel better. I release a strangled sob when I know that Peeta is the only one who can do that.

With all my strength I push myself from the ground and walk out the door.

My hands hover over the door. I debate whether I should knock but it is too late. My knuckles rap against it. After a while I hear footsteps stomping down the stairs.

"What." Gale snaps as he opens the door. His eyes widen when he sees it is me. We look at eachother for a second before I burst into tears. I see him wrap his arms around me but I don't feel anything.

"He's gone." I whimper. "He's gone."

Gale strokes my hair and soothes me but I still don't feel anything.

"Where did he go?" I'm more speaking to myself now. "I need to find him." I say pulling myself from his reach. "I need to find him." I whisper.

"Catnip," Gale says stopping me. "Wait." I turn around to look at him. He walks up to me."Just go back to sleep." I shake my head. "Okay?" He looks me in the eyes.

"Okay." I say, my voice breaking.

He takes me back to my house and we stop at my door.

"Will you be okay?" he asks.

"Yes." I lie. He nods and opens the door. I wave a feeble goodbye and shut the door behind me. I run into my room and fall onto my bed before I begin to cry uncontrollably.

My heart has been broken so many times I don't think there will be any left at the end of time I'm not forgetting. This time I'm not letting go.

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I feel a hand stroke my hair. Peeta?

"Peeta?" I whisper.

"No." A voice says. Prim. I open my eyes and see the girl sitting beside me on the bed. I sit up.

"Prim," my voice is hoarse. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She says. Her face is stained with tears. "He's gone isn't he." I nod and find tears forming in my eyes again. You would think I would have run out of tears by now.

"He did it for us." She says. "He wanted us to be safe."

"I know." There is a long pause.

"It's Monday." I groan. I should be in university but all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sob. But I reluctantly slip out of bed and pull on the first clothes I see.

I feel my phone vibrating. It's from Madge.

_Hey! Where are you? It's 12 o'clock… _

_Yeah, I'm coming. _

I scroll down the list of my contacts looking for Delly but I find Peeta. My finger hovers over the button to send a message. I use all my willpower to click exit.

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"Hello!" Delly exclaims as she brings me in a hug. I try to act enthusiastic but it comes off as annoyed.

"Hi." I drone. Delly raises an eyebrow but doesn't ask.

"How's Peeta?" she asks trying to lighten the mood. I gulp. Don't cry. Don't cry.

"Fine." I manage.

"Where is he these days?"

"I'm not sure. I have to go now." I say as I walk away as quickly as possible. I can't let her see me cry.

I walk into the lecture room and sit down at the back of the class, away from everyone and will the tears to go away.

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"Katniss," Madge says as I sit down on the bed. "You can tell me anything, what's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" I say firmly.

"Fine." She says crawling into her bed. I do the same and hide my face in my pillow.

Before I find myself drifting off to sleep I know one thing for sure. I will find him.


	28. Chapter 28

I stand outside her apartment and knock. She is my only hope. The only friend I can remember.

"Peeta?" Johanna says in disbelief when she opens the door.

"I need a place to stay." I admit.

"Oh… um… come in." she says opening the door for me. She gestures me to sit down.

"What happened?" she asks. I can't talk about it. It is too tempting to go back to the District when I even think about her. Countless times I pulled over from the driveway and nearly rushed back to her arms.

But I can't leave Johanna without an explanation.

"Katniss." Is all I can muster. She nods and doesn't ask further.

"It's a bit tight for space," She says looking around the messy apartment. "Would you mind sleeping on the couch?"

"That's perfect." I croak, my voice stil hoarse from tears. "I'll only be here for a while unti I can find a place to stay."

"You can stay as long as you like." She says with a smile.

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I wake up with a painful crick in my neck from the uncomfortable couch. I groan and rub the spot.

I check the time. 12:30. I sit up and stretch. Johanna is already at her morning shift.

It has been a week since I barged in on her and it has been a week of torture. My thoughts haunt me and I can't do anything else but think of ways that it could of gone differently.

What will I do today? I can't sit around and wallow in my sadness as per usual. I wish I had a distraction.

I slump back down on the the lumpy couch and stare up in the ceiling.

What have I done?

The sentence swirls through my brain every waking hour.

I have damned this world to a death arena.

Guilt has taken more then just my soul it has taken everything from me, I can't even breathe without the sickening sensation of guilt clawing at me, blanking everything out.

Then there is Katniss. I can still feel her arms surrounding me and her lips pressed against mine. I hold on to our precious memories. I run them over and over again through my mind to remind me that they were real but everytime I suffer the pang of longing with every beat of my heart. It pulses through my body like blood and I know that without Katniss it will be permanent.

Why couldn't I have thought it through, maybe I could have brought the file and taken Prim then at the last second tore it up and rush away with her. Maybe then we could run away to the forest and live happily ever after with Katniss. But I know that could not be an option, he would find me and everybody I love and now I have not only volentarily taken apart my happiness but in the process given every child an uncertain future, possible death.

I feel nauseous.

I'm about to walk to the counter when a noise stops me from outside the door. I hear a knock. I approach the doorway and fiddle with the locks. I open the door and the next thing I know is I'm looking at the ceiling with a huge man towering over me. I blink. Is this a weird dream? I open my eyes and the man is still there. He has a humongous needle in his hand and before I can scream for help he inserts it in my flesh. I muffled cry escapes my lips as the pain shoots through the point of contact.

What is happening?

My eyes dart around the room in confusion and I shiver with fear. I open my mouth to scream but nothing comes out.

The man pulls me to my feet and throws me onto the couch. My arm is caught behind me in an agonizing position. I try to speak again but I stop, the shock of the moment leaving me speechless. Snow emerges from the doorway with a smirk and stands infront of me.

"What?" is all I can say. My voice is quivering. I remember the feeling of trying to be brave infront of this man but what's the point, he already has me pinned to the couch with a man twice my size insuring I don't move and I have already had an unknown subtance injected into me. I have every reason to be absolutely petrified. My breaths begin to turn shaky and I find it hard to keep still underneath the strong arms of the man and the cold stare from Snow.

"Mr. Mellark," Snow says approaching me. "How nice to see you again, I never really got to say goodbye after you rudely rushed out of my office."

I have the right to remain silent.

The snake looks awful. More sickening then usual. The corners of his eyes are sagging and a crease has formed between his eyes. I'm surprised that slime isn't crawling down his face because he is glistening. His eyes are drooping with lack of sleep and his snarl looks strained. Something is not going to his plan.

"I'm afraid that this isn't one of our usual pleasant meetings," he continues. I almost laugh at his absurd comment but it sticks in my throat with his next statement. "I have inserted you with sodium pentothal."

The mist of my confusion is still hanging

"What?" I repeat.

"Truth serum." I try not to gag. He chuckles slightly but it sounds like nails being pulled down a wall. It puts my teeth on edge. "I have just got my hands on it." He licks his lips and I half expect his tongue to be forked like a snake.

"Why?" I ask. My voice sounds tired and I am. I'm tired of him showing up with a new reason to inflict on my life. "What is wrong this time Snow?" I sound almost bored.

"I just need to ask you some questions." He begins pacing up and down the room with his hands clasped together. "It should become affective in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."

I don't feel any different apart from the throbbing of the needle.

"Now," he says. He has stopped pacing and is now standing opposite me. "How about a little trial run, just to make sure it's working."

I feel my body begin to shake all over. What will I let slip?

"What is your fondest memory?"

"Every memory with Katniss." I don't even remember it forming on my tongue before it has slipped out of my mouth.

"Any one in particular?"

I don't want to tell him this but I can't stop.

"Our first kiss." I shut my mouth tight, willing myself to stop speaking.

"That sounds lovely," he says slowly, he has an evil smile on his face. He is enjoying seeing me like this. "Would you like to tell me about this?"

"No." I say through gritted teeth.

"How about some useful questions, hm?" He opens a briefcase that lies beside him and takes out a sheet of paper and a pen.

"I have one qustion in particular," he says, a frown forming. "We have a nasty situation involving the file,"

I sit up and lean forward, did something happen?

"It seems that you have given us the wrong information.."

I feel something lift off my chest. A weight that I didn't notice was forcing me to the ground, now I feel like I could fly.

"Was this your intention?"

"No." I reply.

"Do you know where the file is?"

"No." I say. I didn't need truth serum for that. A look of frustration flashes across his face. He turns to the men holding me roughly to the couch.

"Very well." He says.

"What does this mean?" I ask boldly. "Am I… free?" He laughs coldly.

"Yes, so to speak."

I'm free. I have escaped. I can't help let a huge smile spread across my face.

"Will you find the files?" I ask. I suddenly don't feel afraid. He has nothing over me anymore.

"I will try." He says determindly but we both know that I was his last chance.

Without another word he leaves the room with the men.

I lay back on the couch and I decipher what has just happened.

No more President Snow. No more Hunger Games.

I release a laugh and leap up from the couch. I feel like jumping up in the air but a thought stops me with a start.

Katniss.

I find that I'm already speeding off in the direction to District 12 with a manic smile that I can't seem to wipe away.


	29. Chapter 29

What time is it? I think idly to myself.

2:00.

I haven't been doing anything apart from staring at that on crack in my ceiling.

I huff and turn into my pillow. I find that my pillow is already wet from tears that I don't remember shedding. I don't know how long I've been like this, an invalid of misery. A week? A month? I have let Prim take care of me. Everytime she acts like a mother I tell myself to get up but I can't bring myself to live a day in which Peeta doesn't live in.

My phone vibrates for the millionth time but I ignore it. I'm not up for explaing my absence.

I turn my head to look out the window.

Big gray clouds fill the sky, covering every inch of blue. Small, white snowflakes fall gracefully on the untouched blanket of snow. I wonder what it would be like to be wrapped up in it, it looks so soft. A little robin hops onto the window ledge. He twitches his head and looks at me breifly with black beady eyes before flying off towards the forest leaving his tiny footprints behind him.

I slowly climb out of bed and comtemplate the idea of going outside. I don't know which is worse: lying in bed, alone with my agonizing thoughts or going out in the open. It's a distraction nonetheless but it will not stop the painful pang of longing. Nothing will fill the empty place in my heart when I eventually face the reality of the real world without Peeta.

I decide to leave the room and with leisurely steps I walk out into the open.

A gush of wind hits me like daggers to my side and immediately goosebumps rise on my flesh. Snowflakes land on my head, my arms, my legs, my whole body making me shiver but I don't mind. This feeling overpowers everything.

I step out on in the snow making a crunching sound with each movement. I begin to tremble with the cold and I regret not bringing a coat. I survey my clothes and see that I am wearing just my pyjamas. Shorts, a tank top and bare feet. I glance back at the house but it is now only a speck in the distance.

Another gust of wind nearly sweeps me off my feet but I regain balance and slowly trek along. I know where my destination is. I want to go to the forest and perch myself high in a tree. Away from the horrors below and maybe one of the clouds could carry me to Peeta. The new idea makes me walk faster.

The snow begins to fall rapidly and heavily, leaving small pricks of pain on my bare skin. They blow in every direction, hitting me at every angle.

I can't control the now constant shiver that racks my body. My feet lose feeling and the aching numbness begins to slowly crawl up my legs.

I'm so cold. So cold that my senses go blurry and I can't think straight. The only thought that processes is that I'm tired, so I resort to sitting down.

My knees sink into the snow making my legs shiver so vigourously I lose my balance and fall into the snow before I had a chance to rethink my decision. I don't know if I like mind-numbing feeling that blanks my thoughts and eradicates the twinge of my heart. This was the distraction I needed. Even though it is painful I savour the moment of oblivion.

I stretch my arms and legs out creating a star shape. I bring me limbs in and out from my side making an angel shape. I smile. Snowflakes begin to cover my body and I laugh to myself as I now this is what it is like to be in a blanket of snow.

But it isn't cosy and it isn't warm. It is cold. So very cold. I try to squirm out of my newly formed bed but with every movement my body cries out for me to stop. I'm trapped. With every snowdrop that falls on top of me I can almost hear the snakes slippery laugh. He has trapped me in his prison of snow. Presidents Snow's prison of snow.

A hysterical laugh escapes me but it dies quickly. I envy that laugh for being able to escape.

I'm so cold. I can almost feel myself freezing over, making the dull ache in my bones multiply. Black dots scatter my vision covering me like the blanket of snow until all I see is darkness.

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Bright light shines through my eyelids but I don't want to open them just yet.

Where am I?

My fingers twitch at my side and I feel my mattress. My bed. My blanket.

I feel my heartbeat thud quickly with fear but it slowly dies down as I assure myself it is not a blanket of snow it is my blanket of warmth. It does nothing. I'm still paralyzed with cold.

I hear mutters around me and I recognise the voices. From what I hear it sounds like Cinna and Prim. I feel another presence in the room though.

The presence comes closer with pounding footsteps that makes my head ache. I hear it sit down beside my bed but I still don't bother to open my eyes.

"She's awake." The sound of Peeta's voice makes I eyelids shoot open causing a flurry of pain.

I begin to chuckle quietly at the sight infront of me because it seems so impossible. His blue eyes look down at me and his smile seems so real, but I remind myself that this is a dream. A dream that I want so desperately to be reality that it hurts even more then the aching pain that throbs all over me.

The dream Peeta that occurs in every dream reaches forward and takes my hand from underneath my blanket.

The delicious warmth spreads from my hand to every point in my body. This feeling is so real that I almost believe that he is really there.

I take my free hand from uner the duvet. I wince in pain as I bring it towards the dream Peeta's face.

I brush my fingertips against his cheek and he's real. I know it for sure but that is impossible.

"Real or not real?" I manage to croak.

He places my hand over my fingers that still lie on his face.

His eyes twinkle and the corners of his lips tilt upwards.

"Real."


	30. Chapter 30

She has a look of shock on her face for a moment, her mouth slightly open, doe eyes wide before a breathtaking smile illuminates her face. Her grip on my hand tightens and her other falls slowly from my cheek, taking mine on the two of hers. She tries to push herself into a sitting position but her arms shake and she falls back onto her mattress with a moan. She closes eyes briefly while a look of pain contorts her face.

I inch closer and brush my hand gently over her forehead, she twists onto her side and curls up, moving closer to me with her eyes still shut tightly.

"Make sure she takes it easy," Cinna says from behind me. I almost forgot they were there. "I'll be in the kitchen with Prim if you two need me." He looks at Prim for confirmation and she nods eagarly. She has been full of questions and Cinna has been happily providing her with the answers. Prim smiles sweetly at me and plants quick kiss on her sisters forehead before following Cinna out the door.

Katniss opens her eyes and scans every bit bit of me as I do the same. Letting her sink into my mind and lettMing the gaping hole in my heart fill again.

"If you leave like that again, I swear-" she doesn't finish her sentence before she bursts into tears. Each tear that falls rapidly down her soft cheek feels like a hard and painful punch in the gut.

"I'm sorry Katniass," I whimper , struggling to keep the tears from overflowing.

She shakes head, biting her lower lip.

"You stay here," she demands, firmly as her unstable voice can take. Her eyes bore into mine, burning a hole through them. Ripping down every wall I hide behind and leaving me bare with just her eyes. "

No matter what." her voice begins to waver and tears threaten to spill again.

"No matter what." I repeat, holding her intense stare. We stay like this for a couple of seconds before I slide myself onto the bed and in one brief movement gather her up in my arms, cradling her while she leans into my chest.

A memory comes back. Me and Katniss stand in a room. We look young, six at the most. Tears stain both of our cheeks and we have a look of sorrow filling put eyes. She flings herself into my arms and in that moment I feel unstoppable.

That's how I feel in this moment. Unsinkable with Katniss as my anchor. Soaring with Katniss as my wings.

As evening dawns on us we sit up on the bed. Crossed legged like old times and kiss the places on eachothers faces that we haven't kissed, watch the simple things we have longed for in the dreadful time that we had apart, like the blink of an eye or a breath rising in a chest.

Katniss yawns, closing her eyes and subconsciously stretching her arms out.

"I think it's time to go to sleep." I say unable to take the wistful smile off my lips.

She opens her mouth to protest but it brings on another yawn. She gives me a defeated look and rolls her eyes as I place her gently underneath the duvet.

"Don't go," she whispers.

"Wouldn't dream of it," I reply as I kick off my shoes and climb into the bed. I have been in bed with Katniss many times but this time feels different somehow, it feels like the first time all over again. The thought brings me back to a memory in which me and Katniss are in a car and a song is playing. The lyrics reminds me of this moment.

Nobody said it was easy,no one ever said it would be this hard. I'm going back to the start.

As Katniss closes her eyes and her breaths grow deeper I know that this is the start. A new beginning without the obstacles in our way, we can start over as the innocent children that we were and begin again.

This still won't be easy, forgetting is the hardest thing to do but with Katnias finally here for good nothing is impossible.

4 MONTHS LATER

Prim, Katniss and I sit huddled on the couch staring at the T.v screen.

The end of 'The Help' is coming closer and I feel tears prick my eyes as the woman begins walking down the road.

Don't cry, don't cry.

"We always knew there was gonna be a writer in the family, who knew it would be me..."

The credits roll down the screen and Prim picks up the remote and switches the T.V off.

I casually wipe a tear that was about to fall from my eye and hope that none of them noticed.

"Peeta!" Katniss exclaims turning to face me, "you're crying!" she begins to laugh and I try with all my might to not join in with the infectious sound.

"I just have something in my eye." I say feebly.

"Ouch," Prim says. "That was one of the worst comebacks I've ever heard."

"Fine," I sigh. "You caught me."

"You're pathetic," Katniss says teasingly.

"C'mon, that was sad though," I say. She shrugs her shoulders with a smile playing across her lips. "Hey, at least I didn't cry at 'Bambi'."

"Did not!" she says her voice raised.

"Sorry Kat," Prim says, "Saw you wiping your eyes and heard you sniffling." Prim laughs as Katniss crosses her arms and scowls. She turns to me and glares playfully.

"Well you cried at 'Forrest Gump."

"I'm sorry, that is not a valid argument. You can't not cry at 'Forrest Gump'." I say earning a solemn nod from Prim.

"So, I guess I can't bring up the 'Titanic'." Katniss says as we all fall back into the couch.

"Please, Katniss," Prim says from beside me. "I think we all had an emotional breakdown after that."

"You guys more like," Katniss mumbles. Me and Prim shoot her a knowing look, Katniss cried without a doubt after that film. She rolls her eyes before she leans into my shoulder. We all sit comfortably for a while before Peim speaks,

"I'm gonna go to bed now," she skips to the door of her bed. "Night!" she calls over her shoulder.

I look down to Katniss, I cock my head to the side and watch her eyelids flutter shut and her eyelashes brush of the tops of her cheeks. As she nestles deeper into my embrace I scan the dim litted room.

Without any of us acknowledging it, this has gradually become my home here with Prim and Katniss and it's been like a surreal dream.


	31. Chapter 31

**6 YEARS LATER. **

I wake with a start. The warmth is gone.

I look to my left where he always lays but I see crumpled duvet and no Peeta. I know where he is.

The tips of my toes touch the cool, wooden floor and I walk hastily out of the room without a sound.

Without hesitation I fling the door of the closet open and I see him, the harsh moonlight reflecting off his face, creating shadows underneath his eyes. His soft blue orbs are glistening and I can see the trail of tears streaking down his cheeks. My heart clenches painfully.

I shut the closet door and slide infront of him, lean my forehead against his and whisper those words. In these moments it's the only thing that can coax him out of his haunting memories.

Every so often he would close his eyes as a sweet memory would enter his brain but more often then once he seeks shelter in the stuffy closet trying to hide from whatever horror he has recalled. The first time this had happened I couldn't find him, I looked everywhere frantically, asked desperately around until I heard a muffled cry from the closet.

I shaky breath escapes his lips as he comes closer and wraps his arms around me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I whisper. He shakes his head letting another tear roll from his shut eyes.

Usually these memories are of his mother. Whenever this happens I want to spit on her grave.

She died about four years ago, leaving Peeta with the bakery. A first it was hard , working in the house of his nightmares but together we created new memories. The place where his mother beat him with a hard slap is now the place I told him I loved him. The room where she locked him in is now the room where we were delivered the news of Gale and Madge's relationship. The spot by the oven is not where the witch lashed cruel insults but is the place where a vicious flour fight took place.

We bring our lips together for a moment, the gesture feels so natural it's almost like breathing. He opens his eyes and the look of fear leaves them and the real Peeta comes back with a soft smile and a kiss to my temple.

"Thank you," he says caressing my cheek. There is no apology intended but I can't deny the pleasure of hearing his voice against my ear. There is a silence. We breath in unison, are chests rising and falling with at a steady pace and I could swear that our heatbeats are beating as one.

"Do you want something to drink?" he says. After a horrible memory he can never find sleep but his many protests don't stop me from joining him so he has stopped arguing and let me join him. I usually fall asleep anyway. "Hot chocolate?"

"I think that goes without saying." I reply with a grin. I'm rewarded by the joyous sound of his tinkling laughter, light chimes in the wind.

We walk to the kitchen with our fingers laced together.

I watch the way his hand grips the spoon as he stirs in the dark powder into the milk. I find that I'm mesmerized by the way they bend and straighten effortlessly, he never fails to keep me distracted. That's why I have to reluctently force him out of the room when I'm doing my work. I am now a teacher at District 12's primary school. I teach children from nine to ten.

Me and Peeta live happily in my chilhood house, since he came eight years ago we never got round to leaving. Our troubles tend to leave us alone, only coming at odd moments with his memories of his mother and my nightmares of my father but it's okay. We are together.

Prim has moved to District 2. She is working as a doctor with Mother's guidance. She finished in medical with top marks, a feel a proud smile blooming on my lips. It won't be long until she is the new Florence Nightingale. I still don't feel comfortable with the fact that she is with Rory, she was with him since she was fifteen so I don't know why I'm still complainung. I guess it's because she's my little duck.

Live is good. So unbelievably good that I have to pinch myself sometimes to check if this isn't a dream.

Peeta places a steaming mug infront of me and we sit on the small table opposite eachother.

I look down into my mug and see the dark liquid make hypnotic circles, going round and round. The steam makes patterns in the air and it is blown away with a short, simple breath.

I wrap my fingers around the mug and they tingle with the warmth. I bring it to my lips and slowly the sweet liquid creeps down my throat. Within seconds I have gulped down the whole drink and I immediately regret not making it last. I savour the chocolately aftertaste.

Peeta places the mug back on the table with a chuckle.

"What?" I say.

"You have chocolate all over your face." He replies with a smirk. He reaches over and swipes his finger over my top lip with his thumb then bringing it up to my nose with a quick brush.

"I got it on my nose?"

He nods with with a full smile. That smile he only has for me. The smile that makes his eyes twinkle and makes dimples on his cheeks. The smile that makes a shower of butterflies rush from the pit of my stomach up to my lips, creating a matching a smile. Even if the last thing I want to do is smile, it is impossible not to give in to his breathtaking one.

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The grating sound of the phone ringing blares through the house. I jog down the stairs and pick it up.

"Hello?"

There is a high-pitched squeal that shoots into my eardrums. I have to take it away from my ear.

"Hello?"

"Oh my gosh," the voice squeals again. Peeta pokes his head around the doorway to the kitchen and raises his eyebrows, asking who is making that noise. I shrug my shoulders.

"Who is this?" I say loudly into the phone.

"Annie!" she exclaims. I laugh a breathy laugh.

"Is everything okay?"

"Katniss! He proposed! Finnick proposed!" This is followed by another fit of squealing. I feel a grin spread on my lips and a laugh emits from my throat.

"That's fantastic," I say. "When is it?"

"As soon as possible!" she exclaims. "Can you please be my bridesmaid?"

"I would be honoured." I laugh.

"Yay!" she shouts. "Listen, I have to go."

"Okay then, congratulations."

And with that she hangs up.

I walk into the kitchen and tell Peeta the news.

Then after a delicious breakfast we part our ways to work to start another blissful day.

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I stand at the side of the isle with a bouquet of pink flowers to match my pastel dress.

"I do," Annie says with a unwavering smile.

"You may kiss the bride." The preist says as the whole congregation erupts in applause. After a lingering kiss they part and look at eachother with laughter bubbling from their lips.

The walk down the isle hand in hand with a huge grin. Finnick nearly walks into someone due to staring at his new wife.

As the couple leave the church I glance down at the stalls. I meet Peeta's eyes and smile.

After seeing the joyful ceremony I ache for one. I ache to be joined to Peeta like this but I let the fleeting emotion pass as we all flock out of the church to watch Finnick and Annie leave the building.

With a wave over their shoulder they leap into the limo, through tinted windows I see Finnick gather her up in his arms as they drive away.

I find Peeta's hand through the crowd as conversations begin to bloom about the happy couple.

I bring my hand up and straighten Peeta's lopsided tie as he tucks a stray piece of hair that fell over my eyes.

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I sit with Annie at a table in the reception. She is glowing with happiness.

"Do you feel any different?" I ask as I take a two glasses of champagne from the waiter.

"Aparta from feling like I'm floating then no," she says through a smile. I hand a glass to Annie but she puts out her hand.

"C'mon it's your wedding day."

"No, I've had loads."

"Annie you haven't had one glass." I chuckle. She grins knowingly as she glances down to her abdomen. My mouth gapes open.

"Your pregnant!" I say.

"Shh," she hushes.

"Annie! You… What… How did this happen?" I stutter. She laughs, letting her wavy hair fall over her shoulder

"Why didn't you tell me sooner!" I exclaim.

"We only found out last night," she says. Her eyes begin to glisten with tears of joy. I'm still in shock.

"I'm so happy for you," I say taking her hand in mine. Before she can start another sentence Finnick comes over and gives me a wave before scooping Annie up in his arms.

"Talk to you later!" Annie says over Finnick's shoulder.

No sooner had they turned a corner out of sight, Peeta comes and sits next to me on the plush sofa.

"Hello," he says as he kisses me briefly on the lips. I smile in return.

"You wouldn't believe it," I say. "Annie's pregnant."

"Really?" he grins. His eyes grow distant for a second, flicking off and staring at nothing before turning his gaze back to me. "That's great."

Did I see a flicker of hope in those eyes or am I just being delusional.

.


	32. Chapter 32

**Warning: This chapter is cringing at the amount of cheesiness. **

Today is the day and I feel like I'm shrinking.

"Peeta!" Katniss calls from the kitchen. "You should take a look at this."

"Coming!" I shout. I look in the mirror and let out a shaky breath. You can't chicken out this time.

I walk down the stairs and see Katniss hovered over 'The Panem Times.' She beckons me over without taking her eyes off it. I pull out a chair and sit beside her, taking her hand. I can't really remember a moment when we are together when we are not holding eachothers hand or touching in some way. It brings small smile to my face but it fades when I see the article Katniss is absorbed in.

_The notorious Coriolanus Snow, President of Hilltown orphanage, villian of countless crimes and on the run for 27 years has been finally found. _

_On the 18th of September, Snow was spotted in his car in District 12 heading toward the centre of town. It wasn't long until hundreds of patrol cars cornered him. _

_The man was sentenced to a lifetime in prison for crimes that we are forbidden to mention due to being so utterly grotesque. _

_But, not long after he was placed in his cell in the top security prison in the Capitol the workers found him lying dead on the floor due to posioning. Our top medics discovered that he had smuggled in a poison known as 'Black Ghost.' and he drank the whole vial causing immediate death…_

I can't read anymore. I feel sudden relief wash over me. I hear the russle of the paper being shut and I feel Katniss's hand rubbing circles over mine with her thumb.

But I have to get away. The sizzling is coming closer.It starts from the back of my mind until it fills my whole body. It's coming closer, any minute now.

I hear faint mutters but the haunting sizzling has trapped me in a tight, enclosed box of my memories and there is no way out.

It's closer. I can almost feel the electricity touching the tips of my toes.

Then I hear her.

"I love you, I love you…" she says, her voice wavering.

I slip back into reality and see that I'm in the closet with Katniss infront of me. I sigh, why do I keep letting them win by letting into my fears? There is no end.

"Sorry," I mutter as I place my head on her shoulder. I'm sick of making her do this. "You don't have to do this you know."

"What if I want to?" She says as she puts her hand in my hair, her fingertips tickling the top of my scalp. "What if I can't bear seeing you like that and helping you helps me feel better? Peeta, that's what you and I do, we protect eachother."

I smile and lift my head.

"It's riduculous how you can make me feel instantly better." I say, resting my forehead on hers again. The corner of her mouth tilts up. I let my mind flow through my lips. "Sometimes I don't think it's possible, how much I love you, like my heart is going to burst." She places her hand over the point of my heart. "Every second that I'm with you I can't think I could love you any more but I'm proven wrong even with just a simple breath that you take." My voice has lowered to a whisper. "Katniss, you're perfect."

She brings her lips to mine. I want to remember this. I want to remember this kiss, I want to remember every moment with Katniss and hide it deep in my heart so nobody can ever take it away from me again.

She breaks away and she is barely a centimetre from me.

"Sometimes I wake up from a nightmare and I think you're gone again. I don't know what I would do if you weren't there." She says her breath mingling with mine.

"You know I'm not going any right?" I say. "No matter what."

A sudden, random memory pops into my mind and I speak it aloud with tightly closed eyes.

"A little girl sits all alone on a table, away from the cacophany of laughs and screams of joy. She has her hair in two braids instead of one and is wearing a little red dress. She is the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and I knew that I wanted to be friends so I walked up to her, sat in down and said 'My name is Peeta Mellark and I think you are the most prettiest girl in the entire world.' The little girl said that her name is Katniss Everdeen and I asked to be friends. She smiled and I knew I would always try to make her smile because it was the prettiest smile in the entire world." I open my eyes to see Katniss with a smile as radiant as the sun. "And still is."

"I remember that," she says brushing off the comment with a soft, crimson colour blooming on her cheeks. "I had never had a friend before. Nobody had ever made me smile or laugh like that. We used to spend every day together," she says with a dreamy smile plastered on her lips. "You would think I would've gotten sick of you." She pushes my arm lightly making me laugh. She sighs and begins to stand up, untangling herself from me. I look at her with wide, pleading eyes. I don't want to leave yet.

"Don't give me that look," she says rolling her eyes. "You know we have to go now."

I just widen my eyes further, knowing how it always seems to convince her. She crosses her arms and raises her eyebrows, daring me to contradict her.

I stand up with a dramatic sigh.

"You always win," I say and I press my lips to her cheek. She fits her hand into mine as a laugh emits her lips. I can never get enough of those.

We walk out the door and look at both our ways to work.

We stand facing eachother.

"I have to go now." She says, unmoving.

"Me too." I reply, staying in the same stance.

With another laugh she turns away and walks off in the direction of the school.

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I place another loaf of bread on the shelf and wipe the flour off my hands.

I turn to the sound of the bell ringing, signalling another costumer. I put on a friendly smile and turn around. I gasp slightly at the person who enters the door.

"Katniss?" I say.

"Hello," she says chirpily as she hops up on the counter. "I forgot we had a half day, I was kinda shocked when the children just rushed out the door." She laughs.

I don't join in. I just put on a small smile, my nerves seeping through. I'm not prepared.

"I'm not disturbing?" she says.

"No," I say shaking my head. "No." I bring her in for a short kiss. The oven beeps and I dash across the room to take out the easily burned apple pie. As I open the oven door the overwhelming smell of it fills the room.

"Don't you find it hard?" Katniss says.

"Find what hard?"

"Working in a bakery, it must be so tempting to just eat everything."

"Well, I'm not letting you in the pantry." I say with grin. She laughs again and it tickles the air around us.

The bell rings again, Katniss leaps off the counter as the custumer saunters in.

"Hello, Mrs. Carlton." I say to the aging woman. Mrs. Carlton is one of my most frequent customers and we are on good terms. Her little granddaughter, around the age of four, peeks her head from around her grandmother's leg.

"Please, call me Susie." She says. "Say hello to Peeta, Sophie." She says to the little girl. Sophie looks down at the ground, bashfully.

"Hello, Mr. Peeta." She says in her baby voice. I crouch down to her level.

"Hello there, Sophie." I smile. She creeps out from behind Susie's leg and stands infront of me. "Would you like a cupcake?"

She grins, showing her missing two front teeth and she nods eagerly.

"How much are they?" Susie says rummaging in her purse.

"Don't worry this is on the house." I say as I take the little girl's hand and lead her to the cupcake cabinet.

"Which one would you like?" I ask. Her eyes are wide and she looks at them in wonder.

"That one." She points to the one with pink icing on top. I reach in and hand it to her. She licks her lips as I place it in her tiny hands.

"What do you say Sophie?"

"Thank you, Mr. Peeta." She says still staring at the cupcake. She runs back to her grandmother.

"What can I get for you?" I say returning back to the counter and standing beside Katniss, taking her hand.

"Could I have a loaf of brown bread, please." She says, placing the coins on the counter. She comes here everyday so by now she knows the price of the bread.

I grab the bead from the shelf, put it in "The Mellarks Bakery" bag and hand it to her.

"Thank you," she says with a warm smile. She walks to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Mrs. Car… Susie." I say after her. "And bye Sophie." I wave to the little girl. She waves back with pink icing smeared all over her face.

When the door shuts Katniss turns to me and smiles.

"You're really good with children."

I shrug.

"I like them, that's all." I say.

She nods and bites her lip. I can't decipher the look on her face but it leaves nearly as soon as comes.

She slumps down on a chair ungracefully and crosses her legs.

"Don't get mad," she says. "But I went home for a minute before coming here and I stumbled on your paintings." She presses her lips together giving me a pleading look.

I haven't really shown anyone my paintings. They are quite private but I don't care in the least if Katniss saw them because she's… well… Katniss.

"Why would I get mad?" I smile as I cock my head to the side.

"I dunno… but Peeta, they're _really _good." She says, leaning forward. "Have you ever thought about selling?"

"They're just a hobby," I scoff.

"You should at least talk to someone about it."

I shrug my shoulders again. My growing nerves are showing, what am I going to do? I have no time to prepare.

"What time is it?" she says, craning her head to look at the clock. "It's two thirty."

"I finish at five," I drone. Today has been especially draining. I had to rebake things many times from thinking about later today and letting the pastries burn. "This must be boring," I say, fiddling with the end of her braid. "Will I met you in the meadow later?"

Every day after work we lay in the meadow and watch the clouds for a while, just like old times. Sometimes we go into the woods and Katniss shows me hidden places, sometimes we would go to the lake where she taught me how to swim or down the valley.

"Okay," she wraps her arms around my neck and brings me into a kiss. A kiss that makes time stop still. I kiss that leaves me wanting more.

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I twist the sign around from open to closed. Nerves incase me in it's prison of doubt. All the possibilities swirl through my mind, none of them positive. My heartbeat is beating at an irregular pace and I wipe the sheen of sweat from my forehead.

"Pull yourself together," I mutter under my breath.

I walk toward the meadow with stiff steps. Each one making a pounding noise in my head.

The meadow comes into view and I smile as I see Katniss sitting in the distance, the glow of the setting sun making her look orange. Almost like she's on fire.

My girl on fire.

The grass tickles the sliver of bare skin between my trousers and socks.

I sit beside her and try to gather the little courage inside me.

"Hey," she says clamly as she lays into the grass, staring up in the sky. I lay beside her, glancing at her now and again.

Just do it, Peeta.

"Look," I say pointing at the sky to the far side of the meadow. "A monkey."

While she's distracted I filp into action.

"I'm not falling for that one again." She laughs as she turns her head to me. My current stance makes her mouth drop open. I try to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Katniss Everdeen, will you marry me?" I say, flipping the lid off the box to the ring. She gasps as I reveal it, the silver ring with a small diamond on top.

I feel myself sinking as she gapes at me for a second. Then, a huge smile takes over her beautiful face.

"Yes."


	33. Chapter 33

Ten more minutes. Ten more minutes and I'm Katniss Mellark. Ten minutes too long.

I can't seem to wipe the manic smile off my face.

I run my hands down my dress and turn to look in the mirror. I'm greeted with a completely different person.

Her lushious hair is intricately woven in a bun on the top of her head with small white flowers tucked in it. Her face looks airbrushed and her tanned skin glows. Her eyes look almost luminous with her long dark eyelashes surrounding them. Her dress flows beyond her ankles and the ends of the fabric drops gracefully on the floor, making a pool around her feet. The dress is pretty simple. Who is this stranger?

I glance behind me and see nobody.

The woman is me.

The door bursts open and all the bridesmaids flood in with their matching baby blue dresses. I have never seen the dresses before, Prim basically did all the organising. Well, she did it all.

Annie emerges from the small group with a grin, hand placed over her protuding belly.

"You look amazing!" she exclaims. Everybody around us murmers in agreement. I smile even if I don't really care much about that. All I care about is being Katniss Mellark.

"Five minutes!" Madge squeals, clapping her hands together.

A sudden wave of nerves washes over me.

What if Peeta is having second thoughts?

I bite my lip.

What if he refuses to come along?

My eyes drop to the floor.

What if he doesn't want me to be Katniss Mellark?

I gulp.

Madge, Annie, Delly and Rue, the girl who I had met in the woods one evening all fuss over my dress. All but Prim.

She sees the anxiety in my eyes so she comes forward and takes my hand.

"Are you okay?" she whispers so the others can't hear. I nod, gripping her hands tighter. "I think you're lying." She brings her lips up in a small, reassuring smile.

"I'm just bringing Katniss to the bathroom," Prim says. "Makeup issue." The others nod and engage in another converation about the wedding. My stomach churns.

Prim shuts the door.

"What's wrong?" she asks gently, taking my hand again.

"What if he's not there." I croak.

"You really think he won't be at his own wedding."

"No!" I say, my frustration growing. "What if he's having second thoughts. I mean, I have barely seen him in a week and he could…" I trail of in mid sentence.

"Listen Katniss," she says, locking her eyes with mine. "I don't know what could be running through his mind at the moment but I'm positive that he's not having second thoughts about marrying you, Katniss."

"How do you know?" I grumble.

"Fine, I don't know, but do you wanna bet?" I shoot a glare at my little sister. "I bet you that when you walk into there," she says gesturing her hands to the general direction of where the ceremony is taking place. "The look on his face when he sees you will light up the whole room."

There is a moments silence.

"What are we betting on," a say with a hint of a smile. She crinkles her nose then reaches for something in her bag.

"This," she opens up her hand revealing some sort of brooch.

It is dirty gold and it has a bird in the middle. There is an arrow fitted in it's beak. It's beautiful.

"It was fathers,`' she whispers. "It brings you luck." She places it in my hand. "Forget about the bet, it's yours."

I begin to shake my head.

"But-" I begin.

"No, I want you to have it." She smiles again and brings me into a hug.

The memories of my father brings tears to my eyes. Not tears of longing but of happiness. For once it doesn't make me want to scream it makes me want to laugh. Laugh at the fond memories that we had. Dancing in the backgarden. Swimming in the lake. Making daisy chains. And his voice that made the birds stop and listen, then carry the tune from branch to branch.

I begin humming the tune to the song that he taught us. At the chorus Prim joins in and we sing it quietly together.

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

At the end I take the pin and attach it on the top of my dress. It's barely noticable but I want a part of my father with me.

"Time to go!" Delly says, in a sing song voice through the door.

"Are you ready?" Prim asks. I nod and walk out of the bathroom.

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"Okay, then!" Delly chirps again. "Show time." She winks at me and flings open the huge door. The procession slowly walks out with huge grins. I feel like gagging when I see the huge group sitting in the stalls.

I'm not ready. I'm definietly not ready.

I clutch tighter on my Mothers arm even though it doesn't help the overwhelming feeling closing in on me. It does feel like a show, wearing fancy clothes and getting made up pretty. Why do I have feel so incredibly nervous just to show my love to Peeta.

Then it's time.

I share a glance with Mother and she whispers something in my ear.

"I know exactly how you feel, honey. Just put one foot in front of the other and I'll be right beside you."

This sentence makes me see another side of my Mother. Not the stranger that sat in her room and weeped over our dead father. Not the woman that I barely ever saw. Not the person who I could never look in the eye, I see her. I see my Mother for who she used to be.

"Thanks."

And with that I take my first step into becoming Katniss Mellark.

I look around the room and see all the pairs of eyes staring at me. I want to run away, but then I lock eyes with him, Peeta, and all the nerves leave. All the doubts from previously go away. I have a sudden urge to run down the aisle and leap into his arms. I want nothing more then to be Mrs. Mellark.

The smile that I wear almost hurts.

I almost feel my heart melt and burst into a million butterflies as I take him in.

His hair looks like they tried to brush it but of course nothing could tame his unruly locks. He wears a gray suit and blue tie that matches his eyes perfectly. He looks as radiant as the sun. Prim was right, the look on his face lights up the room, but doesn't it always?

Mother releases me and kisses me on the cheek. We share a smile and in that moment. after all these years, I have finally forgiven her.

I take slow steps up to the alter and the fleeting feeling of fear shoots through me again but then he grabs my hand and squeezes it.

I look up at those eyes I know so well and I see something. There is a flicker of nerves and it makes me feel safer, knowing that these feelings aren't just mine and then it's gone.

"Hi," he whispers, with his breathtaking smile.

"Hello, fancy seeing you here." I reply, earning a soft chuckle that makes all my tension hide away for good.

I blank out the priest. And watch Peeta's smile widen, but suddenly it falters slightly.

What's wrong?

I slip back into reality.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, Katniss?" the priest asks, I get the sickening feeling that this isn't the first time he has said this.

"I do!" I exclaim. "Sorry, I do." I murmer quieter. The relief floods into Peeta's eyes.

Did he think I would say I don't? I nearly laugh at the notion.

I squeeze his hand a little and make myself listen to the rest of the service.

"Do you take this woman to be…"

I tune out again when I see his blue orbs sparkle slightly and I'm mesmerized at how blue they are. Almost brighter then the sky, brighter then…

"I do." He says quickly, without hesitation.

Then I remember what's happening, I'm about 20 seconds away to becoming Katniss Mellark. I small flutter of laughter escapes me, barely audible but Peeta hears it and he gives me another grin.

"The rings." The priest says, summoning Annie and Thresh.

Peeta takes it from Thresh and he gently takes my hand in his tender touch. He slips the ring onto my finger and I feel my heart drumming quicker in my chest.

Another 10 seconds.

I take the ring and slowly place it on his finger, never taking my eyes off his.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride."

We crash into eachother with such force I nearly topple over. Nothing matters at this moment apart from me and him. Then I remember, I'm Katniss Mellark.

I lean back and looked into his eyes.

We both burst out laughing and he takes my hand and we walk down the aisle.

Applause is all around us and I can't believe I doubted for a second that this wasn't right.

We leap into our car and shut the door. We crowd arouond the window and wave at our family and friends. When they are all out of sight I remember that I'm Mrs. Mellark again and I can't help but let another jaw aching smile come across me.

Peeta takes me in his arms and I lay across his lap, so small gathered up in his strong build.

"Hello, ." he says, kissing me on my forehead. "You look very nice today."

"Same to you," I say pulling in his jacket.

"I didn't think I could ever feel more happy, Mrs. Mellark." He says kissing each of my cheeks.

I chuckle knowing that I'm probably never going to be called Katniss again.

I bring him in for another kiss but the car stops and rolls into a driveway.

I groan. I don't want to go just yet.

"Time for you two to get changed," the driver calls to us. He can tell we are not moving. "For the party,"

Reluctently we open the door and climb out.

We glance at eachother.

"Race you?" I ask.

"One, Two, Thre-"

"GO!" I shout, getting a headstart. We rush into the building.

"Hey!" Peeta calls after me. "Not fair."

"I have to wear this," I shout behind me, gesturing to the dress. He laughs and I can hear him coming closer, when I'm a step away from the door he scoops me up effortlessly in his arms and carries me the rest of the way.

Laughing, he drops me onto the bed and plants a kiss on my forehead again. He grabs our clothes that were layed out for us and throws it in my direction.

I pick up the dress and look at it.

"They seriously expect me to wear this," I snort, looking at the yellow dress. Peeta holds his up and it's matching, yellow tie. He crinkles his nose, and we laugh.

I can never get enough of these perfect moments.

"Do you want to go away for a bit?" I ask, lying down on the bed again. I have completely ruined my hair but I don't care.

"Yeah, just me and you."

"C'mon then lets go," I say excitedly, jumping from the bed.

"You can't go out in a wedding dress," he grins. I roll my eyes and take the yellow dress.

000000000000000000000

The sunlight shines through the trees painting shadows on the forest floor. The soft breeze ruffles the leaves around us. I spot a little bird hopping from tree to tree. A mockingjay. I glance down at the pin I wear on the dress. I walk over to a tree. It's branches hang low and I can't help but release Peeta's hand and jump onto the tree, climbing it's branches. I remember the song my father taught us. I creep closer to the mockingjay. It looks at me curiously.

_Are you, Are you_

_Coming to the tree_

_Where they strung up a man they say murdered three_

_Strange things did happen here_

_No stranger would it be_

_If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree_

I let the last note linger. The birds beady eyes look at me and it cocks it's head before opening it's beak. It sings the tune, letting the memory of my father live on.

I hop down from the tree.

"Sorry," I say to Peeta. "I used to do that with my father."

"You gave me a memory." He says, coming closer and cupping my face in his hands. "The Valley Song."

I remember standing up in class and singing that. I remember feeling Peeta's blue eyes on me, it made me keep on singing even though I regretted the decision.

"The birds stopped and listened, right then." He whispers.

I bring my lips to his again and a new feeling rises from me. It's indescribable. It's like a new person is emerging from it's hiding place, a stranger. The usual feeling of something bubbling is gone, it's replaced with a new sensation. It's like everything happy combined together to make something perfect. Something impossibly perfect.

"Do you feel that?" I whisper into his lips.

He nods.

"What is it?"

"I don't know." And I don't care, all I know is that I like it so I bring him in again.

And I realise that this is another path that we have discovered, another door to unlock. Who knows what it wil reveal or who knows what we will find but does it matter? We will be together and know these golden bands on our fingers hold us together as one.

Then another thing clicks in my mind.

All through my life I always thought that life was porpusely trying to take us apart, but I was wrong. These scars have made us into what we are today. We have proven that even if our world crumbles around us I will never leave Peeta's side. I will never let go.

And maybe if the memories get fumbled, maybe if we tremble in fear from our neverending nightmares and maybe if the odds were never really in our favour, who cares? We are here, we are living and we are complete.

THE END.

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**Until next time!**

**-M. **


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